How I killed my digital art career

I know how I killed my digital art career, or my art career, if it actually existed in the first place. 

It began with these three words: "It's such a chore."


I was busy with college, and I was spending less time with my trusty laptop. And my laptop was my bestfriend, by the way.

What can I say about my Toshiba Laptop? It was old. My mom gave it to me in 2008.By 2012, it was lagging and it suddenly crash when I was in the middle of a Photoshop Project.

Never mind if I forgot to save the file. That experience taught me to press "Ctrl + S" as often as I can.

But I persevered with that laptop. I had no job. I was a student. I was still living with my mom.

Eventually, I finished Nursing School, reviewed for the Nurse Licensure Exam, and passed the exam.

After I passed the exam, I had just started and abandoned  my last webcomic project: Wild Arms 2: A Bitter Sweet Affair. I even hosted in the now defunct InkBlazers (formerly called MangaMagazine)

That was the last digital project I attempted with all my heart.

After I was employed, my Wacom Graphire Tablet was hidden in its box. My Toshiba Laptop slept inside its bag. In the middle of this, it suddenly became a chore to retrieve those gadgets just to create digital art.

I'm fond of scanning my works to work on it digitally. It then became a chore to scan my works.

When it became a chore, it became unpleasant.

When it became unpleasant,  I abandoned it.

I abandoned my art career, if it even existed at all.

My interest in art was a culmination of the habits I've created all through out the years.

And it took me three words to destroy everything I've worked for.

Because of simple three words: "It's such a chore."

I realized that when something became difficult for me, when I never saw its purpose, when I never saw meaning for suffering,, when I plastered an activity as "it's such a chore" label, I gave that activity a death wish.

I realized that yes, it is possible to extinguish good habits, as well as it's bad habits

I'm more interested in the latter nowadays.

I've accumulated a bunch of bad habits through the past years.

Now, if I can find some method, or some way to respond "It's such a chore" to a bad habit, I can give it a death wish.

Now the next question is, how?