What happened when I took an Artist Date

Artist Date... what's that?

Well, it one of the three legs of creativity that Julia Cameron preaches:

Morning Pages. Artist Dates. Walking. 

According to her, doing morning pages makes you tell the world/universe what your dreams and problems are. The Artist Dates provide the answers to your dreams and problems. Walking makes you receptive. 

In my case, I've been writing Morning Pages since 2010. 

Walking? I've been walking since 2004. I accidentally discovered the calming effect walking has on my brain.  

Artist Dates? Uh.... no thanks. 

I've been resisting the Artist Date Concept. Julia Cameron mentioned that a resistance to artist dates means a resistance to self-intimacy. 

Wait, what?

It feels phony and I doubted it would really help me. 

Doubted. Yes, you heard me right.

Because one Saturday morning, I decided to give it a shot. 

My morning pages entries went like this:

"Well, it must be something that my Artist likes, yes?"

"Why not play basketball at the Arcade?"

"Why not try that wall-climbing activity?"

"Why not try archery?"

Granted, these activities are more fun when you have a companion. 

But in Artist Dates, you are your own companion. You and your artist child. 

I strolled at SM Ecoland the following day. I passed by the arcade as a war raged within me. 

"There are so many people. So many kids. I feel so left out. I must feel like a loner"

......

"It doesn't hurt to ask how much the tokens cost now, does it?"

One token costs five Philippine pesos, and single game of basketball costs 2 tokens. 

Let me tell you, my twenty pesos was well-spent!

After exhausting my tokens, I realized how much fun basketball was (or shooting balls on a ring was!)

Basketball was my sport of choice in my youth. My avenue to overcome/cover up my insecurities. 

(haha!)

But in 2nd year highschool, I stopped playing the game for two reasons:

One. I had a senior whom I were good friends with, who told me I didn't know how to dribble. Can you imagine how my frail ego took that? 

Second. During our sportsfest, I was doing my best, blocking another player from shooting, and I heard jeers that my actions could be counted as foul. So much for giving your best. Oh no, frail ego!

That was the last time I willingly played basketball. 

I would occasionally touch the ball. But never again did I approach the ball with such enthusiasm. 

After that short game, I had another brief monologue in my head:

"There's a basketball court near your house. why not play there?"

"Oh Geez, it's embarrassing to play when you're alone, groups play there too, and I don't have a ball."

"Well, you had a deflated ball at home. You can purchase a pin. You have that item to inflate your bike wheel. You check what times you aren't allowed to play."

It's so easy to discourage ourselves and shoot down that first idea. 

I bought a pin. You couldn't play after 8PM and 12NN-3PM.  Okay. I might as well play in the early morning, or after work.

But I couldn't find the ball. 

"But I just can't purchase a ball. it could be expensive, like a thousand bucks. I spent 3,000 for my Mikasa Vollyball."

"It doesn't hurt to try and ask."

Turns out a Mikasa basketball costs almost 600, while a cheaper non-branded ball is around 150. 

"Are you playing professionally?" the saleslady asked.

"Just for fun."

I went home with a non-branded ball that day. 

At 6PM, I threw a shot. A congratulatory shot. A well-deserved activity for conquering my negative self-talk. Magic happens when you give yourself a try. 

The next morning, I woke up at 5:30 AM to play basketball. Alone. 

"Why not take a walk?"

So I walked around the subdivision for an hour.

I studied for the remaining day, alternating it with rounds of physical activity. I even played basketball with the kids from my neighborhood.  

The next day, (which is today), my body ached. 

A well-deserved ache, by the way.

Doing my artist date unfolded a new path I never expected. 

I never imagined I would my interest in basketball. Maybe the interest might fade. Maybe it won't. But I'm looking for alternative ways to move my body. To make it feel vibrant. 

Basketball does that.

There's magic when you give yourself a try. 

My next artist date will be Wall-Climbing Activity after my exams. I can't wait for that!

Collage: A change of heart

I was never a fan of collages.

I recall projects in school where the teacher had to make us make a collage, I can recall that disgusting feeling in me.

Ick.

No.

Never.

That's cheating.

I don't like it.

Never.

Then my big, hairy and audacious goal came. Time was running out.

Really running out.

I resorted to grabbing photos online, editing it in photoshop and voila!

Hey, not bad!

Not bad at all!

I should set aside one weekend and create collages for fun.

That would make an interest artist date, right?

Big Hairy Audacious Goal

I accepted a new project.

It's huge.

It's audacious.

It's hairy.

My God, it's scaring the wits out of me.

I don't know whether it'll push through, whether the concept will be accepted, or hated that its thrown against the wall with such force.

All I know is.

I'm taking a risk.

I'm expanding myself.

I'm using my Wacom Tablet for the first time this year.

Thank you for taking time to read, here's a cute picture to make your day:

It's not bad to be "Noise"

In a previous post, I wrote about my desire to "not be another noise" in the internet.

Yep. I do. I want to be valuable. I want to help.

Or am I just allowing my ego to get the best out of me?

Creative's Nook is my personal blog.

Yes.

I accept that.

I'm not seeking fame, glory, subscribers, or pageviews for it.

It's for my personal creation.

I can add value with another blog, or website.

But Creative's Nook?

Let it be noise!

My Experience with Arriane Serafico's Braver Goals Online Course after 90 Days

credit to Arriane Serafico

In July 2016, I enrolled in Arriane Serafico's Braver Goals Online Course.

90 Days later, I've done my part, and here's a review/testimonial, sharing my experience with the course.

Let me start with my email to her last Saturday:

When my office mate gave me your blog link a year ago (yep, the same person who joked about the discourage club), I never imagined I'd be a willing participant in your world (brand, I mean). 

To use what I learned from the Purposeful Personal Branding module, "Oh boy, here's another Sparkling blogger with sparkling blogs that I will forget."

That wasn't the case. 

Okay, maybe it was. 

I subscribed, and eventually forgot all about you. Like other typical subscribers do. 

Then one day, I just messaged you (after reading through an email you send to all your subscribers). 

And you replied! Not once, not twice, but maybe around four to five times! 

So she actually takes time to read her inbox, I thought. 

When you notified the world about your Braver Goals Bootcamp/Courage Club, I prepped myself for the cheapest one. I clicked the Php 3,999.00 option instead. 

Oh God, what have I done? 

"Making one of the best decisions in your life." 

It's true. 

I hesitated to tell my mom about joining your e-course. I told her anyway, and the first question she asked: "Is there a Certificate?"

"Oh gee, hindi ko po alam. Tatanungin ko po siya." 

Leanna, the discourage club joker, also joined the Bootcamp, and we bonded over the modules for the past 2 months (unfortunately she got off the wagon last month, after a horrible allergic reaction). That was fun! 

And the ladies at the Courage Club.... I didn't know all of them. Maybe some. A handful. And I'm grateful that I met them. Creative people are hard to come by. It's hard to relate to someone who doesn't create, and I swear I can hear crickets chirping in the background! 

Yes, you're right. It's always our choice. I chose to allow my insecurity to get in my way. I chose insecurity to belittle myself and slam my face hard on the floor, as I compared myself with the other ladies. It's not their fault. It's mine. And it's my choice to act and do something about it, even if it'll be messy, awkward and frustrating. 

And messy, awkward and frustrating... (rinse and repeat)

The past 90 days have been valuable. Best 3,999.00 I ever spent! I regret I didn't purchase the 3,999 version for the PPM (but I have my reasons... trying to wean myself from Facebook, and insufficient balance in my ATM account. But the self-study program works for me as well!) 

I really appreciate it when you take time to respond to comments/emails, even if I know there are several people you have to respond to. My love language, according to Gary Chapman, is words of affirmation.. so thank you for the encouraging words Arriane! 

When I was in 2nd yr high school, my teacher finished checking the second notebook on a pile of orange notebooks, and exclaimed to the class it was the first notebook she checked that didn't give her a headache. 

I owned the first notebook she checked. 
That traumatized me a bit, but confused me as well. My 1st year English teacher told me I wrote well. But I forgot all about that when the incident with the second teacher happened. 

Having Words of Affirmation for your love language sucks some times. haha.

I look forward to courses you'll make in the future, and when I self-publish that horror book (which I also wrote in the course of the 90 days), I'll let you know about it! It's part of the fruit of my Braver 90 days of course. 

Question: Would I recommend this course?

Only if you're willing to follow a system and see what it has to offer. You must be willing to dedicate 90 days for this online course. I admit I had my slip-ups. I didn't follow everything to detail, BUT I learned what worked for me.

Question: Gee, Php 3,999.00 sounds too much. I don't know...

There's a cheaper option available. It was less than Php 1,000.00. However, I made a last minute decision to purchase the Php 3.9K one because I wanted to meet new people.

Question: What changed in your life? 

It' simple that I never thought it was possible. I always believed in Chunking. Arriane, (in my view), uses this principle. You can have four projects in a given year. The question is, how to you execute them?

Will you work on all four projects simultaneously? Or will you complete project on one project before you go to the next one?

I used to be the person who worked on projects simultaneously. And it's not for me. I end up sad and frustrated because I haven't accomplished anything.

I discovered that the 90 day project cycle works for me! It cultivates discipline in me, and I get to practice saying "No", a lot.

Shiny new project? I can feel the urge to work on it. Oh, no. Wait. I'm still working on my 90 day project. maybe I can note what this new shiny project is. Let it incubate. Then I'll work on it again.

Arriane guides you to manage a project using a system she created. Her system isn't absolute, and she encouarges her students to continuously learn and refine their personal system.

I also discovered Spanx's Sara Blakely (whose quotes I absolutely loved!). I also connected with some Filipina bloggers, artists, creatives and entrepreneurs because of this course. When you meet new people, they somewhat influence you and change your perspective in life.

Question: I hate systems and rules on how you should approach your work, blah blah blah---

That's good! At least you know what doesn't work for you. If systems turn you off, then please, spare yourself the mental energy about criticizing about systems and find what works for you. Arriane knows her brand isn't for everyone (that's what I learned from her other course, Purposeful Personal Branding).

Just look for the approach that best suits you.

Question: What tangible result came when you joined this course?

I wrote three stories. Fanfictions, actually. No, don't look at me as I committed sin. Lol. But I write a lot. I write everyday now. If you were to sum up all my word count, I've produced rough 60,000 words.

That's from someone who was "All Talk, but No Walk."

My head is full of stories and ideas, and they remained in my head for decades. For a creative, that's depressing. You don't want an idea to be stagnant in your head.

I wanted to move on, so I decided to write the stories in my head. My fiction isn't perfect, yet it gave me the confident to write. To put myself out there.

Question: Should I give it a go?

YES!

If you have any questions about the experience, please feel free and leave a comment!

I hope my answers enlightened you if you're deciding to enroll in her online courses.

It's a great investment for your cash.

Creative Thursdays: Repainting my Mirror

I have an old mirror in my room. It's been my mirror ever since I can remember.
And it has an ugly backside.

I've been thinking of repainting it. Just like what I see Alisa Burke does. I don't have paint... but I could purchase...

OHH!

I could draw it with my sharpies!

Yeah!

Cats!

How not to drown yourself in the Sea of the Internet

Do you want to break free from the noisezone?

There's friendzone. Seenzone. I don't know-zone. Yeah, I totally made that word up.

Several months ago, I chose to blog daily.

 Two posts a day.

The result was a whopping 150 plus blogposts that I'm proud of.

It was a beast-- an accomplishment I never thought possible.

Quantity is king!

The happiness didn't last long.

I poured over the posts, and realized what a bloody mess it was.

The only value it had was to serve my low self-esteem and my niche was serving my ego.

(Now, I could be wrong....)

I read this invaluable quote somewhere ( I forgot who said it, sorry)

True. I was writing a lot. I was producing a lot.

But did it have value?

Did it help people?

Did it make someone's day better?

Did I help someone solve their problems?

Maybe.

But most of the time, what I wrote was noise.

Messy and unfocused noise. 

I'm currently enrolled in one of Arriane Serafico's online courses, and it's an excellent course btw.

I've read numerous blogs/articles/courses telling me to niche down.

The problem was, I couldn't understand its importance. I couldn't understand how to niche down.

Arriane makes it so easy. Easy as 1, 2 and 3.

According to her, Niching down is like talking to a crowd in a colosseum vs. talking to a handful of people in a small room.

In a colosseum, you are competing with thousands of people. You talk. You bore them. They talk. Your message becomes another noise.

That's what I've been doing.

But when you talk to a handful of people in a small room, provided they want to listen to what you have to say on topics they want to hear, on subjects dear to their heart.

That. is. Niching down.

Like the final piece of a jigsaw puzzle, everything clicked. I finally saw the bigger  picture. The whole picture.

As much as I enjoyed the act of blogging daily, the internet is not my personal diary to rant and bitch to make another person unhappy.

That's why I made the decision to stop my "daily blog challenge". It was fun! I discovered I had a lot of say. A lot of things to talk about.

It's just that... the quality.

Quality sucked. Big time!

I didn't want to be another noise. I didn't want to drown myself. So I chose to exit gracefully.

Now, that doesn't mean I won't stop blogging.

I like it, I do.

I just want to write about important matters where people will find value.

I hope this post is valuable.

Don't drown yourself in a sea of noise.

Define what blogging means for you... or another person will

I had another epiphany of sorts while I attended the Final Question and Answer Segment in Arriane Serafico's Online Course, Braver Goals.

Was I going to be another human spam in the world wide web? Is my blog just another noise in this noisy world?

Suddenly, the ground underneath me shifted, knocking me unconscious. I saw a different horizon and for the first time, I contemplated why I blog.

Why am I even blogging?

Let me tell you, three people have influenced me to become a keyboard warrior:

1. C.J. Chilvers
2. Seth Godin
3. Austin Kleon.

These three have advocated blogging daily, and I took their advice to heart. Since June 2016, I've posted daily, accumulating almost 150 blog posts.

150 blog posts... can you imagine that?

A year ago, I would have never imagined it possible. While I am happy with the quantity, I have reached the point that I now question the quality of my written word.

Going back, I've realized some of my posts are personal rants-- Noises.

I'm beginning to ask the important questions: what the heck am I blogging? Am I blogging for the sake of blogging? Am I blogging to make a mark? Seriously, why am I busting my ass to blog daily? What is my niche?

Numerous questions are locked in my head, engaged in a vicious swimming spree. Unless I find my answers, my blog will continue to become a mess.

I don't regret following Chilvers', Godin's and Kleon's advice. They've taught me an important lesson. If you want to know whether an idea works for you, then go for it.

I went for writing daily blog posts, and while I was happy I was showing up consistently, I began to question the quality. Then Arriane Serafico pops up and I begin to question the mark I want to leave in this internet world.

yes, I'm contemplating another revamp.... or a possible make-over. starting a blog from scratch.

I've started several blogs, like several bloggers. I've ditched several blogs, like several bloggers. Does the experience dishearten me? No. It's teaching me something.

I learned from Sara Blakely to look for the hidden blessing in everything, and with October 13's question and answer segment, I found a hidden gem in how I approach blogging.

What is blogging?

It's important to define what blogging means for you. Either you define something, or the world will define it for you.

For years, I defined blogging as someone who actively posts online with a following. With that framework, I set my heart to regularly posting online... with not so good results.

As long as I was posting online... I was a blogger, yes?

So when last night's Q&A segment came into play, and when I started to ask the important questions... I found my conclusion:

Blogging is all about influence. 

A Blogger is person who has the power to influence.

A Blogger is someone who makes a difference in another person's life. 

Okay... am I describing a leader?

John Maxwell defines the same thing-- Leadership is influence. 

Okay. My personal definition is that. A blog is a channel to influence people and make a difference in their lives. A blogger is a person who wields that awesome power.

Isn't that cool?

I've finally defined something for the first time!

Now that my viewpoint on blogging has changed, there are other old concepts and projects which are about to be uprooted too.

I admire other bloggers who've found their niche, and who help other people make a difference in their lives.

I hope to be a person like that too.

Work Reflection Fridays: The power of a To-DO List

When you start to work, you begin to research and employ a variety of tools to make you more productive.

I've read a couple of time management hacks, and I've tried a bunch of them... To-Do Lists in particular.

Now, there are a lot of resources online that will tell 10 good reasons to follow a To-Do List, and a hundred reasons why you shouldn't keep one.

My advice?

You're the only one who knows whether or not it'll work.

And the only way you'll know that is to give it a try.

Way back in college, I've employed a pretty simple technique. We were always asked to carry a small jot down notebook.

That little notebook was my bible. My patient's vital signs were kept in that piece of pad, as well the input and output monitoring.

I left college and forgot all about it.

And I got employed.

And I realized the dangers of not writing.

Keeping a To Do List is heaven if you're forgetful. It will keep you from forgetting the important stuff. But it can be hell if you're a perfectionist, because you have to refine it every now and then.

Creative Thursdays: A temporary book cover an upcoming Novel

A woman accepts a job to catsit a pet whose owner is accused of murdering his wife. The woman begins to question the man's obsession with his  cat, and his personal history with his deceased wife.

Would you believe that answering a simple question in Quora would lead to a supernatural-crime fiction?

Yes, it definitely happened to me.

The urge to write this story is strong, and I'm tempted to ditch writing Flower from Midgar to write this story.

But yet... I'm a person of my word.

I've committed to focus on one project at a time. I hope I can finish Flower from Midgar within this month to write this story.

Because I couldn't resist, I decided to create a mock cover for the book. The picture of the cat isn't mine. It's something I googled online.

I used a plain Chiller Font for the story's title.

I know that it's so... simple. yeah. the purpose of creating that cover is to prompt me to write it once I'm done with Flower and His Eyes on Me.

I can't wait to write this one!

Random Wednesdays

Because it's fun to live out of the box, for once in a while.

Growth Tuesdays: A day dedicated to improvement

Improvement has a wide scope.

You can improve your physique.

You can improve your *insert* skill.

You can improve your vocabulary.

You can improve your writing ability.

You can basically improve and grow yourself.

As long as you put your effort.

Tuesdays is dedicated to pushing myself to improve myself, even if it's 1%.

1% is better than 0% of course.

Writing Mondays: Writing Routines to Keep you Sane

I'm still consistent with my Morning Pages, which has definitely cope with my mood swings.
I recently discovered my anemia has resurfaced. that explains my fatigue despite having eight hours of sleep.

There are three writing routines in my life:

1. Morning Pages. Where I write three pages of long-hand stream of consciousness thoughts. I've written it numerous times in my blog, and I can't emphasize how much it has helped me cope with my day to day activities.

2. 10 ideas a day. I'm not as religious as before, but I make it a point to write 10 ideas before I work. I also write a bunch of ideas when I'm stuck at work or when I'm crafting an essay for an exam.

3. Daily Affirmation. I practiced this for 3 months. I wrote almost 15 affirmations a day, and got tired of it. But lately, I tried to revive this practice again. Instead of 15, I minimized it to five. Limit it to affirmations that matter. Does it work? Well, sort of. And no, I did not magically wake up and found myself a superwoman. For me, affirmations work as a gentle reminder. It's not the ultimate pill to keep me 100% confidence, but it's a pill that helps me to attain that 100%.

There are days when I forget to do them. But I don't panic when I do.
I just brush off the dust and stand.

Writing is one of my coping mechanisms in life, and I can't imagine my day without writing.

If you haven't tried it, I suggest you give it a try.

Gratitude Sundays: A day to give thanks.

I thank God for inventing the internet and all the wonderful inventions we're seeing.

Wisdom from my Mother: Reflecting on what a parent imparts

You only get one biological mother and father.

I've lost my dad, so I only have my mom left.

I've noticed my mom is a treasure trove of wisdom, considering everything she's been through.

So why not document it and share it to the world?

May my mom's wisdom help you, whoever you are.

Work Reflections Fridays: A Well-rounded blog

Of course this is going to be a well-rounded blog!

I just can't write about my writing and personal endeavors, right?

I have to include what I learned from a week's work.

And no, I am not going to badmouth the people I work with.

This day is dedicated to reflect upon the learnings I discovered for the past week.

So this week's reflections might be reflected on next week's posting.

I go to work five days a week. that's a minimum of forty hours.

So why not make something productive and learn from it?

And why not share it?

 I hope you can learn something from me, and if you happen to disagree, feel free to drop a comment.

Either way, I hope this day will help me appreciate my work, my workmates, and the clients I serve. and hopefully, it will have the same effect for you to..

Creative Thursdays: A corner for creative pursuits.

I used to a be a visual artist.

I wore that label proudly.

But real life got in the way, and I had no choice but to ditch that label.

Do you have any idea how confusing and hurtful it is?

You grow up believing you are going to be a Visual Artist, and one day, it's gone.

Labels aren't inherently bad. I even depend on them to understand myself as an individual.

But to believe and allow your life to revolve around a label... well, that's a different issue.

I'm no longer confining myself to one label.

Visual Artist. Storyteller. Writer. Sketch Hobbyist. Bum. Whatever.

Thursdays are dedicated to posting anything creative endeavor I pursue. It's a day to write about the process. what I learned. What I could improve. Or something that interests me.

Yes, I'm dedicating one day for you.

They say art thrives with constraints.

The more limits you impose, the more creative you can be.

Let's see what I can accomplish.

Will I write crap?

Will I write something that a creative person will find interesting?

Will I write something that never deserves to be read again?

Or Will I just write?

Revamps on my blog

I've been posting daily for four months now. 

I am impressed that I committed to something like this! 

To be honest, I still don't know the inherent value of posting daily. 

I don't know whether people visit and deliberately read my posts because they find it worthwhile. 

...except for Adrian, who told me he reads this blog. 

Since I revived this blog last June, my posts have been random. There's a repeating theme in what I write. 

The best way to solve this randomness is to....... *drumroll please*

Assign themes for a specific day. 

Steven Pressfield has Writing Wednesdays, and I think I can pull that off. 

There's a day to write about art. A day to write about what I learned. A day to write about drawing. A day to write about writing. 

Hey, this can probably work!

Follow your passion is crappy advice pt. 2

That's not true. I tell myself.

It's not true.

Hey hey. Listen.

What is the mark of being an adult?

Income? Education? Title?

Or maybe the acceptance of a dichotomy and the shades in between?

The humility to accept that not everything you know and believe in is true.

That's a hard pill to swallow yes?

Now, what about passion being crappy advice?

Whose idea did this come from?

Following your passion is crappy advice?

Maybe I had it all wrong....

Follow your passion.

I've always dreamed of following my passion.

Who hasn't?

I'm sure there are peole out there who dream of quitting their jobs and make a living of their passion.

Yep look at me. That's me. I'm guilty as charged.

Now what if that advice... follow your passion, was wrong?

Did I just write that? Am I buying advice that what I strongly believe for almost a decade... is wrong?

Warning on lending money

When will you learn?

I read many financial blogs and books since 2013.

One book, The Richest Man in Babylon, advocates to exact a item equivalent to the amount you are lending.

In olden times, these items included cattle. Sheep. Land titles.

There's a deep warning against people who cheat on you. When they give you something of lessee return.

Nowadays, people pawn their ATMs. Yeah.

In my kindheartedness, I don't ask that.

But I'm rethinking.

Two people owe me. 4 digits.
It's a big amount. I would have appreciated if they could pay me in installment... but no.

Maybe I should decrease how much I lend.

Now I understand why banks demand collateral.

Don't depend on your salary

Mother got mad because I spent a five digit amount for an online course, whose lessons have yet I have to apply.

With my present circumstances, I think it would have better if I spent that amount to pay my health issurance.

Money can be tight.

Unless a mindset shift happens.

You know. Like increasing your capacity to earn instead of depending on your salary.

Musings at work

When there's no job to be accomplished, you pray for one. 

When there's a lot of job to be accomplished, you pray for none. 

Isn't it funny?

Angry

Something marvelous happened on September 22, 2016.

Apparently, an office document I mailed to our office was missing. How could that be, when I double checked before sending the file?

I was aghast.

Did I forget to mention I was angry as well?

This is not the first time a document went missing interim to our main office.

I sent a very important document six months ago, and it got lost in that same building.

For the love of God.... we are all human. We err.

I've had instances where I lost documents too. So this might probably just another case of projection.

Good thing I had another original file which I kept. I photocopied it and sent the original to them.

It's so easy to blame people and ask them to fix problems when they screw up.

I was at that point. That point where all I wanted was to blame...

And then it clicked.

Blaming doesn't solve anything.

But looking for a solution does.

I quickly created the solution before I finally had a chance to reflect on what happened.

Where did it go wrong?

The problem could have been between me, the courier, and the receiver.

To make things short...

I had to improve my document system tracking.

that was the only way to prevent this fiasco again.

Yes, I was just frustrated because of the situation. but... isn't life always like that? You're expecting it to go smoothly, but it goes a wrong turn.

sigh.

the hidden gem in this situation is that my document tracking system still has loopholes. and you totally can't depend on the system.

Break the Routine: Creating Art without Lineart

Lineart is my God. 

I always work with lineart, ever since I held a pencil with my hand.

.....

well,

Let's break a routine, shall we?

Armed with the Polygonal Lasso Tool, I drew a bunch of shapes and filled it with "Alt+Del".

and no, I did not refer to any Color wheel and color palette. 

My sense of color sucks, I know, but... this is an experiment, remember?

What if I put a yellow gradient and set it you "Lighten" mode?

"Oh, it looks pretty!"

"Damn, I can't appreciate the other colors."

......

Good job, Nurj. 

Let's continue to break more routines.

Break the Routine: Simple Icons

There are things I would have never contemplated on creating as a young girl.

I was, after all, very much into anime and JRPGs in my youth.

I expected less from my works.

So I strove and did my best.

The result? All my works looked the same.

And because they looked the same, I stagnate.

Stagnation is the enemy of improvement.

You have to be doing something different, every now and then,

Push yourself out of your comfort zone!

Be contented with creating something different.

Today, I... did just that.

I would never have contemplated creating... this.

No never. this was something beneath me...

and yet... it's so simple that it looks so stupid, yes?

But it's fun. and it breaks me and my routine.

So how many other routines have we deemed "beneath" us that we never even tried?

I dunno with you, but with me, creating these icons... made me think of creating other icons... with just a simple photoshop, a mouse pad, and my imagination (insert constraints)

Break the routine

I wrote about the staleness of my routine.

So I did something different....

...Just obtained my drivers license!

Now all I have to do is muster the guts to drive the car outside the narrow gate.

So Brangelina split up...

My Facebook feed is having an emotional breakdown over the Brangelina Break-up.

It's sad.

Even my mom was sad about it. I can't blame her. I was beside her when we watched Mr. & Mrs. Smith way back in 2005.

Break-ups are sad, even if it's not our own break-up.

I don't want to be affected, as much as possible.

There's enough drama in our lives that adding another one doesn't help.

Reflecting on my beloved country, the Philippines... Part 2

It hurts to watch the news.

It hurts that I want to pluck my eye balls and plug my ears.

Truth hurts, they say.

The biggest question is.... who is telling the truth?

Reflecting on my beloved country, the Philippines...

Did our Filipino ancestors die in vain?

They fought a bloody war against the Spaniards, the Americans and the Japanese for Independence. 

They fought hard. They fought for independence. 

Lives were lost. Lives were defended. Lives were betrayed.

Is this how we repay the blood they shed?

I ran out of buffer blogs

Lol.

What am even doing?

(Breaking the routine. Making fun of myself)

10 Ideas on how to be the Best Version of Myself

In true James Altucher's Idea Muscle fashion, I wrote the following ideas to myself one morning before I started work. 

The list is not absolute. It's a photograph of what I believed would help me become a better person. 

1. Wake up at 4 AM. To work on my morning pages. To Meditate. To start my day early. 

2. Sleep at 9 or 10 PM. To install discipline. To give myself sufficient time to sleep. To have time to do personal activities after dinner. 

3. Work out at least 15 minutes a day. Our bodies deserve the right to be happy and healthy. 

4. Commit to read new and inspirational books or blog daily.  To sharpen my mind and make my knowledge grow. 

5.  Spend 15 minutes on a daily project. If I don't work on it, the project dies. Yes, it will die. 

6. Interact with people on a daily basis. No man is an island. We're much happier and healthier when we relate with people. 

7. Show kindness and positivity. It's a favor we do to others and to ourselves. 

8. Look for the hidden gem or blessing in every situation. From Sara Blakely. this is a life-changing advice. Really. You  turn whatever shit happens to you into gold. 

9. Choose to forgive people and yourself. It's like drinking poison. No, you don't drink poison and hope you will be okay. 

10. Embrace and celebrate failure. Rather, change your perception of what failure is. Failure is part of life, and learning how to cope with this fact is a key to live. 

How to kill whatever activity you're doing.

I'm pumped. Super, duper, pumped. 

The next day, I proclaim to the world how happy I am, how my life has amazingly changed after doing what I'm doing.

Sounds good, right?

There's nothing bad about sharing what makes you happy, right?

I thought so too....until I noticed this pattern.

After sharing my joy, my interest in the activity begins to fade. 

THEN MY INTEREST IN THE ACTIVITY FADES INTO OBLIVION. AND I END UP ABANDONING IT.

No, I'm not kidding!

I've started to feel it with my fanfics, you know, the Final Fantasy 7 story I'm writing. There's this force that suddenly appeared inside me. You must write it perfectly. Write it perfectly. Damn it, write it perfectly! 

Sometimes, the pressure can be so overwhelming!

Sigh. Have you experienced this as well?

Something different

I need to do something different with my life.

My routine has become stale.

I need to push myself forward.

You can't build Rome in a day

My head hurts.

I just realized it. You can't build Rome in a day.
If you do, you will burn out. You will get tired. You will get irritated.
I'm working on the second chapter of "The Flower from Midgar", and it is not an easy task.

I'm churning what to include, what to exclude. I want to work on the next chapter, but my heads tells me it has enough.

It tells me to pay attention to other matters.

Work. Other hobbies. Tidying. A life other than writing. Relaxation. Fun.

You can't build Rome in a day.

Imagination Capital

My father is an entrepreneur, and I grew up with a bunch of people who're children of entrepreneurs.

In a sudden twist of fate, I lose my dad, leaving me with my mom who's working for the government.

I never imagined that I could be an entrepreneur, after all, it's a widespread notion that to be an entrepreneur, one must have a capital to fund your venture. Money. Money. Money.

And I don't have that, financially speaking.

I don't have a million pesos, heck , I don't even have the money to pay what I owe to fully pay my health insurance.

Neither am I capable of starting a large scale business that will launch me from obscurity into stardom.

I just don't see myself as that... yet.

Nothing is fixed in stone, yes?

Then one day, I discovered Jon Orana from a blogger I've been following. He made a fortune selling ebooks.

His capital?

No, not money.

His capital was his imagination. 

And because I don't have the financial capital, I would like to believe I have the capital to fully utilize my imagination. 

The only thing I have is my head, my hands, my fascination to tell stories, and a slightly crazy imagination.

Do you have a captial? What's yours? 

I'm migrating my 10 Daily Illustrations Series

Earlier this year, I started a series of posts called "10 Daily Illustrations". The concept was derived from James Altucher's "10 ideas a day practice".

I enjoyed doing those exercises because it challenged my mental faculties! Plus, I also had the chance to tap my inner child and play with a bunch of designs.

(my most viewed daily illustration is the 10 variations for a cactus design)

Because my artblog looks so barren, I decided to migrate the concept there and start anew!

Where can I find my inspiration?

Everything is a material.

Pain. Happiness. Sadness. Grief. Despair.

When I'm stuck in a rut and my creative well has dried out, I take time to restock it.

I purposely distract myself and indulge in sensory activities.

Everything is a material.

To process my experiences into materials, I transform it with the power of art.

Pain becomes a story.

Happiness becomes a comic.

Sadness becomes a painting.

Grief becames a visual art.

Despair becomes a poetry.

Everything is a material.

Dr. Alvin's Professional Skin Care Formula works for me!

I always told myself beauty doesn't matter, but hey, I'm just human. As my life unfolded, I discovered a tiny grain of truth that, yes, beauty does matter.

To this end, I allowed myself to purchase some beauty products to enhance my features.

I used Beauche in 2011, when I was on my last year of college. It was priced at a whopping amount of 800 Pesos. 800 was expensive for a college student like me.

Was it effective? Yes. 

Did I continue to use it? No. 

On that same year, I discovered Human Heart Nature. I discovered the myriad of chemicals harmful for the body, and Beauche... well, let's say I found some of those chemicals in it (Parabens, for example).

But again, let me remind you, Beauche worked for me. It's just that my beliefs were incompatible with the product. So I ditched it.

Prior to using Beauche, I also had excellent results with St. Dalfour. Absolutely excellent results. 

Did I continue? No.

That same year, FDA released a statement that high mercury levels were found in St. Dalfour. With a heavy heart, I ditched the product. Sigh.

My skin is oily, and with luck, I settled with Human Heart Nature's Products. I don't breakout and my conscience is clear. I eventually ditched soap and used plan water for my face. No more zits, except for the occasional breakout when I'm ovulating.

Now, despite my dislike for expensive beauty products laden with chemicals, I can't my innate curiosity.

You could say, my curiosity led me to try Dr. Alvin's Professional Skin Care Formula.

I have several friends who've used it, and well... the curiosity bug bit me.

My face flushed around the 3rd - 5th day. Not as red as a tomato though. My face also started to peel.

Some of my officemates noticed the changes on my face. Here are some of the comments I received:

1. "Did you have an allergy?"

2. "Why is your face oily?"

3. "Where have you been? Your face is so sweaty." 

4. "Your face is peeling."

One week later, here's what I look like:

   No foundation and blush applied. 

After applying sunblock, I just filled my brows and colored my lips with la lipstick. 

I've never left the house without foundation and blush since 2012. So I'm surprised that my cheeks are somewhat pinkish now.

I'm Chinese-Filipina by the way, so I know I'm fair. Despite my fairness, my facial skin isn't that great. I'm oily with some.. er.. blackheads. My cheeks usually become rosy after a heavy bout of work out. I've never left the house without foundation and blush since 2012. So I'm surprised that my cheeks are somewhat pinkish now.

I must say, I have positive results with this product. (even if it has parabens.. lol)

The only thing I dislike about using this is that my skin is now sensitive. I had a blackhead on my cheek and I couldn't resist but pop it. Wrong move.

The following day, the pressure I exerted left a red mark, and it appeared the skin stretched. I religiously followed the routing and that part of the skin faded and peeled away.

 So yes, definitely no more touching, pricking or poking.

The Verdict:

This product is effective. Period. :)

It doesn't hurt to appreciate a Review

Seeking people's opinion on your work is an act of hierarchy.

That's what I learned from Steven Pressfield.

To act in a hierarichal fashion is to like commit an artist suicide.

Pressfield advises to act territorially.

In my case, to act teritorially is to create.

You know... write the story you always wanted to read.

After finishing "Your Love, My Undoing" or YLMU, I dedicated my mental faculties on developing "Magdalen from Midgar", or MFM.

MFM's story has been around my head for a while, when I decided to prototype it as a fanfiction. Nothing bad right?

With MFM, I'm inching out from my comfort zone: I'm taking my time to learn how to write using the 5 senses. I'm reading books, tutorials and tips how to improve my creative writing skills.

I'm acting teritorially.

After a tiring day at work, I was about to pack my laptop into its bag when I briefly checked my inbox.

"Oh, I have a review."

I read it, and I was pleasantly surprised.

Wow, had me on the edge of my seat. Very compelling and well-written. Just hope you can carry that same energy for other chapters.

I'm happy someone cared to leave YLMU a review. I know how much effort I poured for the 1st chapter. I doubt the succeeding 5 chapters met the same intensity.

Nevertheless, I'm happy how that story turned out to be.....even if it's filled with grammar mistakes and syntax errors :D

I suck. Now what?

The first step of improvement is to admit that you suck.

I suck. 

At 15, I taught myself how to use photoshop. I mostly dealt with concept at, webcomics, and original character illustrations. 

Tarpaulin or lay-out design? 

What was that? 

People tend to assume that if you can use photoshop, you can do anything it's capable of. 

That's not true, by the way.

My pride and refusal to learn and adapt cost me the chance to improve. I have lost opportunities of pride. My pride has lead me to one of my weaknesses. 

Lay-out Design.

I view the craft of making tarpauling design as a complicated matter. 

Experimenting to search for the perfect blend of color harmony, font, images and lay-out stress my neurons.

I became lazy, and decided not to learn anything about tarpaulin design.

I mean... I knew how to use photoshop. I'd get through it. 

Wrong move, girl. 

I suck. 

But you know... I won't suck forever. 

To create good art, I have to accept I'll be creating lots of bad art. 

Bad art is okay. It's part of the learning process.