Break the routine

I wrote about the staleness of my routine.

So I did something different....

...Just obtained my drivers license!

Now all I have to do is muster the guts to drive the car outside the narrow gate.

Complainypants will be Complainypants

"The world is full of Complainypants."

I was enjoying  lunch with my graduate school classmates.... until they transformed into the dreaded "complainypants".

Now, what exactly is a complainypants?

Meet Mr. Money Mustache, a.k.a MMM, the dude who has converted me to the Cult of 

Mustachianism. MMM has a knack of creating amazing and memorables terminologies such as: 

hedonistic sukka, car clowns and complainypants.

....anyway, back to my topic.

The complainypants classmates are mad because of this certain professor's "poor" decisions which affected us.

To make the long story short, that professor could have saved us a lot of trouble if he followed option

"X". However, he went with option "Y". After the succeeding semester, he tells us that it was option 

"X" all along, and we have to comply with it within 3 months, or else we repeat the subject.

Because my classmates were fed up with this professor's antics, they blamed him for whatever misery

they experienced. "If he could have done this and that instead of this, we wouldn't be in this 

predicament." 

I have my own issues with our professor: I do not like his teaching style. I also do not like that it 

takes him 10-15 minutes to have a morning prayer. I do not like that he injects unnecessary and 

irrelevant matters to discuss during lecture hours to kill time. But since I do know that we are 

different styles and opinions, I try no to hate him that deeply. I understand that we are all humans, 

with our differences and shortcomings.

I can't help but laugh as well, for I also share the same predicament with them. School requirements 

are piling up and I have yet to study for our exams. 

But right now.. I'm behaving as if I don't care a shit. No pressure.

I guess this is one of the effects of reading Augusten Burrough's "This is How". 

"This is how the past haunts us. We think about it."

"When somebody experiences something truly horrific and shocking or so unimaginably 

painful and ruinous and they survive, all you can do is wonder, "But how?". 

This is how: By living what exists in our life right this moment. And by recognizing that the

 origin of what we have or do not have is irrelevant."

Since something happened to us by circumstances beyond our control, we expect the other party who 

offended to pay compensation. When we are unjust and unfairly treated, we demand we treated 

otherwise.

... and what did Augusten write?

" The truth is that life itself is brutally, obscenely unfair."

"Avoid self-pity by taking responsibility for everything that happens to you, even if somebody

 else is at fault. By taking responsibility, I don't mean to play doormat. I mean, repair yourself. 

Love forward. Move on. Then, only then, see if you can wrangle some empathy."

Even The First Noble Truth in Buddhism agrees. "Life is full of suffering."

And we suffer more by living and blaming the past, hoping it could be different.

 We can stop haunting the past by living in the present.

My present right now, is not what our professor did to us, My present is the decision on which task to prioritize and act on. 

I've been a complainypants myself, and I still am. 

I can decide to blame the professor entirely....

...or I can create my Escape Plan and plan for my next action steps.

That's more appealing and optimistic than trapping myself in the shoes of a complainypants, isn't it?

Criticsim, even constructive ones, hurt!

"...Some technical errors and a few writing choices are weak..."

Ouch, now that hurt!

As I expected, after reading his review I could feel my defenses build up.

I readied to justify the fact that it was something I left unwritten 4 years ago.

Then I stopped.

What the heck was I doing?

Owe it up, girl! The writing sucked!

It's a hard truth to swallow, but yes, my writing was weak. Could or might have been weak.

Anything we give birth to and gets criticized? It hurts.

But you know, it doesn't have to be that way.

Keep in mind, why did I even write that anyway?

I always remind myself, "You have a choice."

A choice to quit and abandon the project, or a choice to persist and continue.

But still, the feeling sucks.

Deal with it. Well, better yet, get used to it!

The immediate response to criticism is to defend ourselves. That's a fact. 

We try to flinch from pain. It's normal. Who doesn't abhor pain?

But feel the pain. Allow yourself to feel it for a couple of seconds. 

Allow yourself to to think and justify.

Then catch yourself in third person observing whatever you are doing.

She's offended.

She's trying to make excuses.

She's trying to defend herself.

She doesn't want to be hurt.

She's being defensive. 

She doesn't want to accept that someone's opinion differs from her.

Weird, yes?

But it helps diffuse the tension and fixation of being hurt. 

Right now, I feel better and grateful. 

Why? Because this comment came from someone whom I never expected to correspond with. 

He asked for a link to my fan fiction, even telling me there was a possibility he might not read it. 

But he still did. He took time, and I respect that. 

My 2012 writing sucks, but I can make a difference for 2016.

I will persist.

Thank you the_rpgenius for unwittingly motivating me to improve my writing ability! 

You might never read this blog, but again, I would like to say thank you!

Rejection Quest: A tale of dealing with rejection

"To cure a arachnophobia, you must immerse yourself in a sea of spiders."

"...Are you stupid, or what?..."

Rejection, a 3 syllable word with a bitter taste on my lips. 

I have hated it from the moment I was born. 

It sucks. It's an unpleasant feeling.

People tell you how important it is to be rejected, but truth is, no one wants to be rejected!

To be rejected means you're trash. 

And it sucks, big time. 

A long time ago, I didn't want to be rejected. This led me to reject people first, simply because I didn't want them to pull in on me first.

Before you get me, I'll get you first!

Flawed logic, yes? 

But I'm not the only one.

(cite a study)

Someone told me that it's embracing our rejections and failures that enable us to grow.

I have  poor pain tolerance and I'm supposed to embrace it?

 bullshit.

One sultry afternoon, I was looking for an online writing job. 

I looked at the bulletin and saw several requests. 

I emailed one, and guess what?

I received not a single response.

I didn't include a sample, so I drafted one, praying that someone would bite it. 

Still none. 

The next day, I emailed each request, and guess what?

Still none.

At that moment, with childlike glee, a thought flickered in my head.

"This is rejection. Why not collect them and allow me to be used to it? I can be immune to rejection later on. The benefit? I can go for what I want without being afraid."

The next day, I responded to requests and still, received no responses. 

Either I need to improve my copy writing skills, or I need to create a writing portfolio. 

Either which, I have embarked on a Rejection Quest.

A tale of making fun of myself and improve by collecting and develop immunity against rejection. 

Are you interested in taking this quest with me?

Let the journey begin!