What happened when I took an Artist Date

Artist Date... what's that?

Well, it one of the three legs of creativity that Julia Cameron preaches:

Morning Pages. Artist Dates. Walking. 

According to her, doing morning pages makes you tell the world/universe what your dreams and problems are. The Artist Dates provide the answers to your dreams and problems. Walking makes you receptive. 

In my case, I've been writing Morning Pages since 2010. 

Walking? I've been walking since 2004. I accidentally discovered the calming effect walking has on my brain.  

Artist Dates? Uh.... no thanks. 

I've been resisting the Artist Date Concept. Julia Cameron mentioned that a resistance to artist dates means a resistance to self-intimacy. 

Wait, what?

It feels phony and I doubted it would really help me. 

Doubted. Yes, you heard me right.

Because one Saturday morning, I decided to give it a shot. 

My morning pages entries went like this:

"Well, it must be something that my Artist likes, yes?"

"Why not play basketball at the Arcade?"

"Why not try that wall-climbing activity?"

"Why not try archery?"

Granted, these activities are more fun when you have a companion. 

But in Artist Dates, you are your own companion. You and your artist child. 

I strolled at SM Ecoland the following day. I passed by the arcade as a war raged within me. 

"There are so many people. So many kids. I feel so left out. I must feel like a loner"

......

"It doesn't hurt to ask how much the tokens cost now, does it?"

One token costs five Philippine pesos, and single game of basketball costs 2 tokens. 

Let me tell you, my twenty pesos was well-spent!

After exhausting my tokens, I realized how much fun basketball was (or shooting balls on a ring was!)

Basketball was my sport of choice in my youth. My avenue to overcome/cover up my insecurities. 

(haha!)

But in 2nd year highschool, I stopped playing the game for two reasons:

One. I had a senior whom I were good friends with, who told me I didn't know how to dribble. Can you imagine how my frail ego took that? 

Second. During our sportsfest, I was doing my best, blocking another player from shooting, and I heard jeers that my actions could be counted as foul. So much for giving your best. Oh no, frail ego!

That was the last time I willingly played basketball. 

I would occasionally touch the ball. But never again did I approach the ball with such enthusiasm. 

After that short game, I had another brief monologue in my head:

"There's a basketball court near your house. why not play there?"

"Oh Geez, it's embarrassing to play when you're alone, groups play there too, and I don't have a ball."

"Well, you had a deflated ball at home. You can purchase a pin. You have that item to inflate your bike wheel. You check what times you aren't allowed to play."

It's so easy to discourage ourselves and shoot down that first idea. 

I bought a pin. You couldn't play after 8PM and 12NN-3PM.  Okay. I might as well play in the early morning, or after work.

But I couldn't find the ball. 

"But I just can't purchase a ball. it could be expensive, like a thousand bucks. I spent 3,000 for my Mikasa Vollyball."

"It doesn't hurt to try and ask."

Turns out a Mikasa basketball costs almost 600, while a cheaper non-branded ball is around 150. 

"Are you playing professionally?" the saleslady asked.

"Just for fun."

I went home with a non-branded ball that day. 

At 6PM, I threw a shot. A congratulatory shot. A well-deserved activity for conquering my negative self-talk. Magic happens when you give yourself a try. 

The next morning, I woke up at 5:30 AM to play basketball. Alone. 

"Why not take a walk?"

So I walked around the subdivision for an hour.

I studied for the remaining day, alternating it with rounds of physical activity. I even played basketball with the kids from my neighborhood.  

The next day, (which is today), my body ached. 

A well-deserved ache, by the way.

Doing my artist date unfolded a new path I never expected. 

I never imagined I would my interest in basketball. Maybe the interest might fade. Maybe it won't. But I'm looking for alternative ways to move my body. To make it feel vibrant. 

Basketball does that.

There's magic when you give yourself a try. 

My next artist date will be Wall-Climbing Activity after my exams. I can't wait for that!

Morning Pages Treasures

Morning Pages are a source of inspiration.

I've been writing them for almost six years, but not once have I taken the time and effort to cull out ideas worth cultivating.

I've binged on my Julia Cameron books for the past few days, and her latest book has inspired me to do the cull out.

I wrote my pages today, and immediately highlighted some concepts that interested me, or prompted me to take action:

1. I always liked to draw. 

2. I might as well teach them a thing or two about conceptualization. About appreciating and beating the time limit. Teach them that there is not bad way to create art, but personal preferences exist. Teach that it's all about telling stories. Theme. Concept. Objects. Relationships. The Magic of 3. 

3. Looking at Shilin Huang and Loika's art inspires me to draw again... to create concept art. 

4. One thing I never did was study what I wanted to improve on (visual arts)

5. I instilled discipline when I wanted to watch Scooby Doo at 5AM. I was desperate to watch it. 

6. But if I can find my scooby doo....

7. Why not watch youtube vids after I wake up?

8. One factor that hinders me from writing is... "logical order. The belief to write in an orderly manner and in logical sequences." That belief is a dream killer, I tell you! 

9. Here's the antidote: when an idea grips you, strongly grips you, write it. If it's a dialogue between two people, plot it down. Never mind if you don't know who they are, or what their backstories are. But write! Just write!

10. Masters don't sit down and immediately produce a masterpiece. It doesn't work that way. I guess. They sit down, play the notes, play the keys, hoping and looking for the perfect, if not, appropriate tune. When they find it, they preserve the melody. 

11. Ultimately, the characters or the music must reflect whatever they're supposed to reflect. 

12. I want to study music writing. I want to compose songs. 

13. But I want to give myself a chance it music making. I must try. 

14. But you can't easily discard food. Wait. What's the difference? Money and the idea that someone could benefit from the food. To lessen the costs, go for smaller portions and use cheaper ingredients first. (On why I do not like to Cook)

15. Make use of everything. Make beautiful art. Create beautiful flavors. 

The ideas are somewhat broken, but I guess it doesn't matter.

What matters is that I culled out these little treasures, and I'm seeing for the first time the nuggets of hope, learnings and wishes buried in my soul.

I should do this often!

Writing is easy

I used to fear the blank canvas. I still do. 

Flashback to my elementary days, I dreaded writing for my Formal Theme Book. 

I had no idea how to write. 

"Get the core. write in 5 paragraphs." my teachers would instruct me. 

Perhaps it was the rigidity that frightened me. Ha, the irony! (because I can be rather rigid with rules)

I had no idea how to write. But I wrote. I was pressured to write. I had to write. 

or else, I would fail. 

I had bad experiences with writing. I would get lazy and ask my mom to write it... only to realize my mom, too, wasn't good with her grammar. I asked my friend to read it and she told her how awful the grammar and syntax was (sorry mom!). 

But that didn't stop me from writing. I liked to write stories. Even if people couldn't relate to them or the characters I created. 

Then in 2010, in the midst of a heartbreak, I discovered Julia Cameron's Morning Pages. 

I followed what she preached. I found myself writing 3 pages everyday. It was a grueling routine. I would wake up at 5 AM and write for 3 pages. 

2010-2012 were years dedicated to heartbreak, Acne, Board Exam, and my webcomic dreams. 

I was never consistent in this practice. I'd forget about it. Really. 

A few days later, I would find myself really cranky and I would turn to my notebook and pen to write. The effect was therapeutic, and I have not looked back since then. 

Last year, I discovered James Altucher and I tried his "10 ideas a day". I experimented and was consistent in doing to for 7 months. By the 8-10 month, I became inconsistent. The experience taught me something valuable. 

It's easy to generate ideas. The only question is, Is it Good or Bad?

The practice also taught me how to be comfortable with bad ideas.

Now, wow did this practice affect my writing ability?

I ignored the proper punctuation marks I learned in my formal school years. 

I chose to write in my voice. If my writing actually had a voice. 

After 6 months of writing, I discovered that writing was easy. You can write anything. As long as you don't judge it. 

The moment you have judged yourself, you have rendered your writing ability a death sentence. 

I'm speaking from my personal perspective though. 

Blogging daily helps me. Even if I don't actually blog everyday. 

Two reasons I started to blog daily were to instill discipline and to be proud that I had produced a body of work. I would have never created 30 plus blogposts in 2 months if I followed my usual routine of "I'll just write and post when I feel like it."

It didn't work for me. 

But "I'll write 2 or 3 posts today and schedule them. Then maybe tomorrow I can write another 2 or 3 more entries and schedule them again." worked. 

It works for me, and that's why I'm hammering my keyboard, churning out for ideas. 

The contents of the blog are a different matter. Looking over my published posts, it's a salad of ideas. I envy bloggers who have found their niche, and who can monetize their niche.

Me? I'm still wondering how I can do it. 

Everyone has their own pace. 

New Art Blog!

Hola!

For the nth time, I started another blog/artblog/sketchblog called Nurjean's Sketchblog. 

Very unoriginal title, I know.

It's a product of reading Julia Cameron and my experience as being a resource speaker during The Rock's Junior Staff Exam. I had the privilege to be represent the Rock Fossils' Art department and share my knowledge about taking the exam and creating art.

Truth is, I dreaded it...giving that talk.

Now, I dunno if I can consider it luck, but only ONE person appeared.

Yep, ONE. 

I immediately changed my strategy and decided to have a one on one talk. 

The other rockers gathered around and we had a little sharing....

and that sharing rekindled the tiny flame I harbored for the visual arts. 

What if.... what if I tried again?

I was reading Julia Cameron's The Sound of Paper, and I think she had a little hand in helping me try again. 

I have nothing to lose. 

Failure is just not trying. 

And the least I can do is just try!