Futureme!

I discovered FutureMe this week after I finished Jon Acuff's book, Quitter.

I'm currently writing my "Future me" letters.

The topics range from motivation to my musings.

I think my "future me" would appreciate a blast from the past!

4 tips on geting your job done

I was so damn tired on the night of July 24.

My head was throbbing. I wanted to do my homework. But I felt as dead as a horse. It was 8 PM.

The best course of action was to sleep and wake up at 4 AM.

Could I do it?

Nowadays, I wake up 6 AM. Often times, I panic because I have to eat and dress quickly.

Only that I'm not. Instead of quickly doing my stuff, I do them leisurely. As if I have a lot of time in my hands.

And the habit spilled over to other aspects in my life.

I used to be very punctual. Now I'm not. 

I used to be the type of person who would panic when I was not present 30 minutes to one hour before the agreed schedule. Now I'm not.

There are pros and cons when you learn to loosen yourself from such a rigid mentality. But that's my problem to deal with. Everything has pros and cons.

Surprisingly, I woke up at 4 AM, thanks to my alarm clock in the tune of Grandia's Sea Cat Restaurant Lily.  

It's the perfect tune to jump start my day. Not to heart-wrecking.  Sweet and energetic.

Before I went to sleep on the 24, I wrote on my evening pages and agreed that once I woke up, I would immediately make my bed, prep my clothes and bags, put my grocery in its storage and return my freshly pressed clothes to my drawers.

I did those in 15 minutes with ease. (yay!)

Here are some hidden games I uncovered (Sarah Blakely influence)

1. I get the job when I don't color with a negative perception. I was plain neutral about the job and attacked my tasks without thinking how much of a chore it would be, or how painful it would be. I just did it.

2. Mornings work best for doing my personal projects. One reason I'm unhappy at work could be because of my backlog of personal projects I didn't act on. I'm guilty that I work on personal projects at work (sometimes!). But by prioritizing my personal stuff in the morning, I don't get to think about it during my work hours. I now have free space to focus about work-related stuff during work hours.

3. A dipper filled with water  in my room is magic. One reason I'm always tempted to go to sleep was my eyes were still sticky. The bathroom was far far away from my room.... and there was my hungry cat that I do not want to deal with. It's next thing I do after I make my bed.

4. Blocking my bed works as well. Another reason I'm tempted to sleep is my inviting bed. Solution solved. I simply laid down my clothes and bags there. Now I have no reason to lie on it.

I don't know if these tips will work for anyone, but to people who have problems and want to get the job done, please feel free to try our my tips

Thank you readers!

I'm surprised and amazed that I've been blogging daily since June 11, 2016.

It's an accomplishment worth noting!

I'm actually able to blog on a consistent daily basis!

I'm still trying to figure out what my niche is though. No, I'm not obsessed about it.

I'm measuring my hustle:

Have I written two entries for today?

Have I written a list of things that interest me today? 

What have I observed today that I want to share? 

I don't know who the people reading my blog are. Stats don't tell everything. But they do tell me something.

Someone's showing up to read what I write, the same way I'm showing up to write what I learned.

To the readers, thank you for giving this blog your precious time.

On donating books and clothes

I ended up re-reading a favorite book, "Everything that remains" by Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus.

I discovered them way back in 2010 when I was still a college student. The idea of minimalism and still does.

One of the key learning I extracted from reading their blog was to prioritize the essential over the superfluous items in our life. But this is easier said than done.

How do you even know what's essential, when everything looks essential?

For me, what's essential is often marred by this quality called "nostalgia" or "sentimental value".

And this is rather dangerous, especially when yoy're trying to let go.

I have a collection of Groiler Encyclopedia my mom bought for me many years ago. I remember I devoured pages and pages of those sets. It had colorful pictures and I find world history fascinating.

One day, I hid them inside my cabinet and never looked back, until I decided to select books which to donate.

I knew I never read those books again. The decades told me so. I had never accessed them in a long time. Another important lesson I learned is that what's not important for may be important for others.

I could donate those books... but I need to deal with my mental barriers first.

"I need to ask permission from my mom". We have this agreement at home. I can dispose my stuff, as long as I inform her ehat I'm disposing.

"But where shall I donate this?" One of my problems is looking for a "where". I have books and clothes to donate... the only problem is where. Yeah, where. This is an easy problem to solve, which unfortunately, isn't easy for me.

It appears I don't want to deal with the pain of losing these beloved items, even if I haven't treated them with the love and respect I should have given them.

I hate my blog statistics

I hate to admit it, but I have a love-hate story with statistics.

This blog's statistics in particular.

It's like I'm turning the statistics into idols.

It's like I've tied the statistics with my self-worth.

It sucks.

It sucks when you're happiness is tied to something that's like the stock market.

I know.

I'm glad that I'm not the only one. Apparently, Jon Acuff experienced the same thing too.

And Jon Acuff picked up something about the same dilemma from Seth Godin.

To my Fans Club

I apparently have a "Fans Club" at the gym I frequent. 

On July 22, my gym instructor approached me and apologized. "You know, I've known you for 3 months, yet I don't even know your name."

I laughed. "It's Nurjean. You can call me, Nurj."

And I mercilessly teased him to remember my name because we already knew each other for 3 months.

"You know, there have been a lot of guys here who asked me for your name."

"Oh, is that so?"

Then the conversation died and I went around to hit the weights. One hour later, I approached Migz to say goodbye."You could tell whoever asked my I said 'Hi'." I told him.

My gym instructor laughed. "There are a lot of them! They keep asking me for your name. You apparently have a fans club here. They tell me you're cute."

"Oh is that so? Just tell them I said hi!" I laughed and got my things to change my clothes.

On my ride back home, I couldn't help but rewind the conversation Migz (gym instructor) and I had.

So some guy found me attractive.

Some guys found me attractive.

Some guys never approached me to ask my name. (There was one though, his name was Charlie. Charlie gives me a candy every time we meet)

Sometimes, I forget that I'm an attractive person. I grew up feeling like an ugly duckling. I was a late bloomer. Yeah, I never felt attractive, even if I got a lot of compliments that I am by the time I reached college and found a job.

I guess what some people say is true. Even if you change the exterior, if the interior is still the same, then there's not much change at all.

I didn't know if I was amused or if I was sad.

I was amused because I apparently have a "fans club". I've heard rumors from a suitor that he heard there were a lot of guys interested in me. I dismissed it because I never felt that I held the interests of men. I've heard rumors at work that I'm somewhat popular with my male colleagues because of my looks and 'kindness'". I didn't pay much attention to that because I never felt like attractive. Because every time I looked at the mirror, I saw the same 12 year old who never saw herself as someone beautiful or attractive.

Even if you change the exterior, if the interior is still the same, then there's not much change at all.

But still, I'm amused. There's a psychological effect called Dunning-Kruger Effect that explains that a person can be ignorant of their own incompetence. I wonder if there's a similar effect on how a person perceives their attractiveness.

On the other hand, I'm sad because none of those Fans Club even approached me to say hi. They just asked my gym instructor (who's a cool dude by the way). One reason I never felt attractive when I was younger because I never felt men paid attention to me. It's ironic though. Now that I'm older, I still don't feel men pay attention to me. I must be made of a heart of stone! LOL!

I don't blame them. I don't make a lot of eye contact at the gym too. I feel anxious when I'm in a new place surrounded by unfamiliar people. That' s why I opt not to make eye contact with people. I just look far far away....

So to my  "Fans Club".... I just wanted to say hi.

Birds of the Same Feather

It feels amazing when you find someone whom you can connect with. 

Nyu nyu and I had a date night, where we discussed our goals, frustrations and dreams.

We've been accountability partners the moment we signed up for Arriane's Braver Days Challenge.

And it has been a fun ride!

I think Nyu and I click because we both like to write.

Both of us like to create.

We're creatives!

Can you imagine when you're surrounded by people who inspire you to be best version?

Can you imagine when you're surrounded by people who push and believe in you?

Yes, I can.

90 Braver Days Module2 Output and Realizations

I woke up on July 21, 2016, feeling fresh and hopeful.

I finished the Braver Days Road Map module 2.

I knew what I had to do for the next 90 days.

To write, publish, market and sell an ebook.... on my personal history with playing Japanese Role Playing Games.

Yes, yes.

I know.

Who would even buy a book from me?

Heck, who would even buy a book about the impact of JRPGs on someone's life?

I don't know who would. but I do know that there's someone out there.

But there is more to selling that meets the eye.

My Braver Goal is also about being comfortable about the person I am. My Braver Goal is also about fulfillment.

My Braver Goal is something worth fighting for.

A Harem Pants taught me a thing about being an entrepreneur

A missed opportunity. 

I walked to my former unit to say hi to my officemates when their eyes lit with glee. 

"Oh my gosh! I like your pants! It's so beautiful! Where did you buy them?"

I looked at them with amazement. It was the first time I was a recipient of their adoration. Not, screw that. It was the first time that I wore something that they wanted to purchase. I wore a smooth and comfortable harem pants (for the lack of better term).

"South Korea" I replied shyly. 

They look at me, dismayed. "Why didn't you buy and sell some clothes?"

I sheepishly grin at one of them. "Don't worry, I'll buy another one when I return to Korea."

It was a funny conversation. 

I learned something too. 

I'm not fashionable... I have yet to develop my refined fashion taste. I'm not that into clothes. I've been to places, and I have never bothered to purchase clothes, nor even sell them. 

Selling clothes, was a my big fat boss battle. 

It was something I could never imagine myself doing. 

But today's incident taught me differently. 

I'm ignorant of the fact that women go gaga over clothes. 

I'm ignorant of the possible market I can venture. 

I'm ignorant that some people like what I do not like, while some people don't like what I like. 

Today, I learned something from a missed opportunity. 

And it's an opportunity I'm glad I missed. 

A Phenomenological Case Study on the Effectivity of Arriane Serafico's 90 Braver Days Roadmap Challenge

I was having breakfast when I was hit with lightning. "What if I did this" idea. 

What if I documented my experiences as a member of the Courage Club? 

What if I actually succeeded and achieved my braver goal because of her course?

What if I compiled it and turned it into a PDF or ebook, and gave it to Arriane as a personal testimonial? 

I would be offering a phenomenological case study on the effectivity of Arriane Serafico's 90 Braver Days Roadmap Challenge... for free.


One of my braver goals is to write, publish and sell an ebook, and to publish my fanfictions. 

Both braver goals involve writing AND creating stories.

So yes, why not?

I've been blogging for a month now, finding my "Stock". I'm looking for my "Stock" by providing the "Flow".

Another lightning strike and it suddenly occurred to me that I like to document my experiences, draw some insights and share them.

I  have already written  3 or 4 posts about the Courage Club, and the Braver Goals Roadmap, so yes. Why not?

I don't think there are other bloggers, or members out there, who're doing what I'm doing. Writing a full-blown blog post about the experience of being a member. I guess I can capitalize on my uniqueness and willingness to blog daily!

It could serve as a comprehensive testimonial if there are other ladies who want to take the course in 2017.

So yes! I'M SAYING A BIG FAT YES!

I'm saying yes to this project!

ROCK ON!

How I killed my digital art career

I know how I killed my digital art career, or my art career, if it actually existed in the first place. 

It began with these three words: "It's such a chore."


I was busy with college, and I was spending less time with my trusty laptop. And my laptop was my bestfriend, by the way.

What can I say about my Toshiba Laptop? It was old. My mom gave it to me in 2008.By 2012, it was lagging and it suddenly crash when I was in the middle of a Photoshop Project.

Never mind if I forgot to save the file. That experience taught me to press "Ctrl + S" as often as I can.

But I persevered with that laptop. I had no job. I was a student. I was still living with my mom.

Eventually, I finished Nursing School, reviewed for the Nurse Licensure Exam, and passed the exam.

After I passed the exam, I had just started and abandoned  my last webcomic project: Wild Arms 2: A Bitter Sweet Affair. I even hosted in the now defunct InkBlazers (formerly called MangaMagazine)

That was the last digital project I attempted with all my heart.

After I was employed, my Wacom Graphire Tablet was hidden in its box. My Toshiba Laptop slept inside its bag. In the middle of this, it suddenly became a chore to retrieve those gadgets just to create digital art.

I'm fond of scanning my works to work on it digitally. It then became a chore to scan my works.

When it became a chore, it became unpleasant.

When it became unpleasant,  I abandoned it.

I abandoned my art career, if it even existed at all.

My interest in art was a culmination of the habits I've created all through out the years.

And it took me three words to destroy everything I've worked for.

Because of simple three words: "It's such a chore."

I realized that when something became difficult for me, when I never saw its purpose, when I never saw meaning for suffering,, when I plastered an activity as "it's such a chore" label, I gave that activity a death wish.

I realized that yes, it is possible to extinguish good habits, as well as it's bad habits

I'm more interested in the latter nowadays.

I've accumulated a bunch of bad habits through the past years.

Now, if I can find some method, or some way to respond "It's such a chore" to a bad habit, I can give it a death wish.

Now the next question is, how?

Listen to your accountability partners

I've given shared my power with three important people in my life to reach my goals. 

My Mom.

My gym instructor. 

Nyu nyu. 

Today, on July 19 2016, Nyu Nyu made a comment to me that felt like a bucket of cold water was thrown at me. 

"Learn to be sensitive!"

We had agreed that I would come to her table and have lunch. I usually have lunch around 11:30 AM. It was around 11:45 AM when I visited her table and laid out my lunch box. 

Nyu nyu was still working on her report when she glanced at me, all prepped up and ready to it. 

With disbelief, she looked at me. "You're hungry? You're not sensitive. You gotta learn to be sensitive!" And off Nyu nyu went to the canteen to get her lunch. 

I sat there, stupefied. 

Wait, what did I just here?

I felt a bucket of cold water is doused at me. I began to rationalize. I began to reason out in my head. 

Then the answer became clear. 

A couple of days ago, I made a list of people whom I would trust and ask fro support to reach my goals. 

Nyu Nyu was one of them. I asked for her honesty and support. And she gave me her honesty, which I'm grateful. 

There's a reason why I prefer to eat alone. I get to do what I please to do. But it's a different matter when I share a table with people. Suddenly, it's not all about me. It's about us. Sometimes, it irks me. Because I'm not used to it. But... it's part of socialization. 

I'm actually grateful for Nyu Nyu's comment! 

The power of having an accountability partner!

The Voice of Insecurity can be such a bitch

When I joined the Courage Club, I had one thing mind. 

I am going to write and sell a freaking ebook. 

I was going to write a freaking book on money and I was going to sell it. One way or another.

My boss fight?

It's the monster called insecurity.

Insecurity is the voice that tells me,  "Who are you to write and sell a book?"

Insecurity is the voice that tells me, " How could you possibly write and sell an ebook, when you've hardly finished the fanfiction you wrote and you're scaredypants of selling online?"

Insecurity is the voice that tells me, "Just who are you, really, to even dare to dream like this?"

Insecurity is a vicious bitch. 

And it's a bitch worth fighting against.

Because that bitch is a part of me.

It's something that's sitting by the corner of the deep recesses of my psyche. As Carl Jung would put it, My shadow. 

It's the voice that's afraid, because it knows that when I take the first steps, when I take the choice to make a change, it'll lose the comfortable world it's ever known--- inactivity.

And I have been inactive for years now!

By taking the first steps, by taking courage, I'm threatening the shelter it has known.

And I can't blame my insecurity. I can't blame myself.

I can only befriend myself. I can only ignore the viciousness behind its voice and gently provide what it needs most.

Reassurance. 

Reassurance that no matter what happens, I will succeed.
Reassurance that I'm doing an activity for a greater cause.
Reassurance that I will survive.
Reassurance that I will be happen.

Yes, my insecurity  needs reassurance. Before it needs reassurance from other people, I need to provide reassurance from myself first.

I know it's a weird concept that I'm treating my insecurity as something separate entity from me. Like a third party.

But I feel that the path to truly providing the safety and comfort my insecurity craves, is to assure it that there will always be someone who will cheer and support it to become even better.

Insecurity can really be a vicious bitch sometimes.

But sometimes, I think it needs to be showered with love and reassurance.

Yeah, it's a long process.

And it's a process worth working on.

Share to attract

"When you share what you believe in, you attract people who believe what you believe"

Okay. Those aren't my words, but from a tedtalk video I saw.

It struck a chord with me.

That was the reason why I posted on the Courage Club. I shared one of I read from Jon Acuff's "start".

True enough, I discovered another Jon Acuff fan!

Gotta practice sharing a lot then

I think I should create another blog

The world wide web is full of dichotomous opinions.

"You should blog daily" vs. "You shouldn't blog daily"

"You should host it on this site" vs "you shouldn't host it on this site"

For the past few days, I've been toying with the idea of creating a blog at Quora or Medium.

Why?

Because there's traffic there. 

And what will I do with this blogspot blog?

What will I write about when I migrate there?

I don't know. I'm still looking for it!

Following Austin Kleon's advice, I'm creating my flow to identify my stock.

I show up everyday to determine patterns I've never seen before. Truth is, there are a lot of things I never know about myself.

That is why I give myself a chance to write everday, even if I believe that no one is reading the ramblings of a 24 year old woman in this blog.

That is why I show up.

That is why I try the two sides of a dichotomous opinion: to see if it works

The Core of my Creative Soul

I'm a storyteller. Period. 

Every endeavor I took stemmed from that desire. I can't narrate how I came to this realization, but I can  plot what I do feel.

The very reason I was into videogames-Japanese RPGs in particular, was because I wanted to be immersed in the stories. Good vs. Evil. Hope vs. Despair. Friendship and betrayal. Yes, I've played dozens of games. I've lived different lives as JRPG protagonists. Although I no longer play these games, the lessons I've learned, the characters I've met and played, the music I've heard.... all these are etched in the fiber of my being. Because I immersed myself in the stories.

The reason why I could read Edith Hamilton's Mythology, a 200-300 page book without colorful pictures, was because I wanted to be immersed in stories.

The reason why I was obsessed with comics, manga, and anime, was because I wanted to be entertained with the stories.

No wonder I wanted to create my own Visual novels, webcomics, rpgs... I loved stories and I wanted to to tell a story.

At the core of my soul, at the core of my creativity is a burning desire to tell a story.

And that's it.

Everything stems from that.

Make a game? Cool, Let me think of a story.

Webcomic? Cool! Let me think of a story.

Visual Novel? Cool! Let me think of a story.

Illustration? Cool! Let me think of what story it's trying to tell.

Story.

My God.

It took me 2 decades to realize this.

Everything I do in my life is to tell a story.

Courage Club, or Discourage Club?

Leanna and I enrolled in Arriane Serafico's 90 Braver Days Roadmap Challenge.

She paid Php 1,699.00, while I paid Php 3,999.00.

One of the perks of the Php 3,999.00 is being a member of Courage Club.

The Courage Club members receive top most priority for Arriane's mentorship. So when I narrated to Lee the story of the other members, she flashed me a sheepish grin.

"You know, if I paid Php 3,999.00, I would have called that The Discourage Club."

No, it wasn't an insult to the Club.

It's like putting a rock inside a basket of diamonds. 

Lee and I could have been those rocks.

Reality bite: I am that rock in that basket of diamonds!

God, I just realized how low my self-worth is  (laughs!).

Lee and I also had another realization: Most of the people in the Courage Club are creatives. Some already have businesses. Some haven't. Some wants to start their. blog. Some are already have theirs. Really great.. Golly gee, if I never studied Carl Jung, I would have never guessed I'm projecting my Golden Shadow Qualities (oh boy, here I go again!)

And here's another realization:

We all have the same problems. 

The rock shares the same problems with the diamonds. 

Another realization:

Comparison kills you. 

I didn't join the Courage Club to be discouraged and be devoured by my insecurities. I joined because the I wanted to accomplish something different with my life.

I know that we have differences. We all have made different choices. Yet we joined for one thing--- to make our dreams and goals a reality.

This rock... this rock isn't going to be just a rock. It's going to be an awesome rock with mixing with the diamonds in the basket.

And who knows?

 The rock might discover that it had a diamond inside too.

It has always been "Arthy"

I was doing the exercises for the Braver Goals Roadmap today (on July 12, 2016).
There was one exercise that required us to.. oh, due to the terms and conditions, I can't really share what the exercise was.

But my answer was surprising.

I wanted to write Sarasa, but my heart and soul made a different decision:

"It's Arthemis! It will always be Arthy!"

Back in 2002-2006, I still playing Squaresoft's Legend of Mana for the PSOne. You could randomly generate names for the protagonists, and mind you, I LOVED the names that game generated.

...and you guessed it right, "Arthemis" was one of the names that popped out from that random name generator.

The name then became my persona in the internet world. My deviantart account was arthemis-pink. Even my email address (former) was Arthemis Pink. Heck, I would even respond if someone called the name "Arthy" out loud. Adrian, yeah, he called me Arthy too. You could say I was "Arthy" for almost a decade!

Arthemis was born from a period where I was very much active in the creative scene. The period were I was always optimistic about art, jrpgs, and game development. It was a period where I was full of self-confidence.

I think those qualities went out of the window (LOL) for quite some time, but when I did the exercises....I was pleasantly surprised to feel "It's always Arthy!"

Some things, some dreams, some identities.... they will always be the same .

All you need is 15 minutes, a shitty draft and 2 questions

Day 2 into the #90Braverdays

One of the realizations was that... yes, 15 minutes is absolutely enough to show up and get the ball rolling.

On July 11,  I was reviewing my answered workbooks and the modules when I felt the urge to write on my beloved Final Fantasy 8 fanfiction.

My last update was on May 2016, before I traveled to South Korea.

I learned from Arriane Serafico that 15 minutes is enough. It's enough time to start. 

Everyone has 15 minutes.

At 10:30 PM, I sat down and switched on my laptop. I encoded the draft paragraphs I wrote on my trusty yellow-pad. After 15 minutes, I saved the file and switched off my laptop.

The next day, I faced my the draft and asked myself the following questions:

"What's right?"

"What's not right?"

Those two questions, which I learned from Edward Burger and Michael Starbird's
"The 5 Elements of Effective Thinking", helped me overcome my writer's block.

I killed some sentences. I killed some paragraphs. I breathed life into new sentences and paragraphs.

For the first time since May 2016, I felt a huge burden lift from my shoulders.

I had finally written the ending for the chapter I procrastinated for 2 months.

But the battle is far from over.

I still have to face that Chapter one more time and ask myself the following questions:

"What's right?" and "What's not right?" , then proceed to kill and breathe life accordingly.

I'm part of the Courage Club. Now what?

This is it.

I'm finally a member of the Courage Club.

Okay, now what?

I'm starting to feel somewhat anxious.

How do I talk to them? 

How do I relate to them? 

What if they won't respond? 

I suck at conversations with strangers. 

Okay, calm down. The best thing to do is to calm down.

These strangers... they won't bite. Just remember the purpose why I joined.

To meet like-minded people who want to meet people pursuing their goals.

Talk about that first.

Calm down. Whew.

Think of the purpose before you let go

I didn't notice I had a lot of "Drafts".....so I deleted them.

I could feel the struggle inside me. Those could have been your future posts!

I know. 

And I also know they have been sitting in this account, unpublished. 

I believe it's better to put them to rest.

To quote what I learned from Marie Kondo in my own words,

"To learn how to let go, one must look at the purpose that the object brought and whether it fulfilled it or not."

I learned that those posts were meant to serve as soundboards for my ideas.

I also learned that I was not willing to post them for the world to read.

I think in this matter when I struggle to let go of my possessions.

In Six Days

I did it. I actually submitted my Title Proposal in 6 days.

It took me six (6) days to finish what I procrastinated for almost 5 months!

My God, I could hear the Panic Monster running in my head.

But I did it!

I feel a thorn has been removed from my neck.

I'm now free to deal with my issues with the Bureau of Internal Revenue and my Final Fantasy 8 Fanfiction.

I don't want to procrastinate, as much as possible. But I can't deny the urgency it creates in me.

Can you imagine?

6 days?

I enrolled in Arriane Serafico's The Braver Goals Bootcamp!

Holy cow!

I can't believe that I actually decided to purchase Arriane Serafico's The Braver Goals Bootcamp.

I was adamant in purchasing another online course. I had blown away 22,000 pesos to purchase Jon Orana's online course on publishing and selling ebooks.

While I learned a lot from his course, I didn't execute them. I respect Jon's wisdom and experience.

Then came Arriane. I discovered Arriane Serafico through my officemate, Leanna.

I subscribed to her mailing list, and admittedly, I would "read and forget" what she wrote.

One day, I decided to respond to her email, and she replied back!

She sounds nice!

...and then I forgot about her.

Then one day, something marvelous happened. I began to take the action steps on the emails she sent. She responded to one of my emails. Then the next day, I received another email.

The Braver Goals Bootcamp.

and it wasn't free.

Uh, no thanks.

I was determined not to enroll. I mean, I had blown 22K. I wasn't interested anymore. And I vowed I would find a way to realize my goals.

I reread the email again when the idea suddenly struck me.

I had always complained and envied people who had a group of like-minded friends.

I knew I wanted one. I knew if I continued to do the things I'm doing, I would never find them.

Could this be the answer to my prayers?

I don't know and I'll found out in 90 days time.

What is  Php 3,999.00?

I withdrew it from my sacred emergency fund, which has been badly depleted for the past two months. 

This is a sacrifice. A sacrifice I'm willing to go through. A happy sacrifice (is there such a word?)

Let me end this post with what I learned from Napoleon Hill, in my own understanding:

"There is no such thing as something for nothing" 

The ghosts of abandoned projects

I have crazy ideas.  I have bad ideas.
I have ideas which I implemented but eventually abandoned.

I wanted to have a webcomic, so I made one. But then, I abandoned it.

I wanted to have a visual novel, so I wrote the story. But then, I abandoned it.

I wanted to write a book to sell, so I enrolled myself in a 22,000 peso worth of online course to know the trade. But then, I abandoned the drive to push through.

I have abandoned a lot of projects, and their ghosts are haunting me.

How does one deal with a ghost?

Listen to your market

I talked about cultivating the entrepreneurial spirit in yesterday's post.

I have a little sari-sari store-in-a-box beside my desk at the office. My market buys from me because they're hungry for coffee and biscuits, or any food to satiate their hunger.

Recently, my market has been asking me whether I sell cellphone load. I have officemates who sell load, but when they're not around, they ask me.

I'm rather shy in endeavors I'm not familiar with. Like, how do I tell people that I sell load? I don't want to rub it into their faces.

But now... hm. I'm decided to buy retailer sim cards.

Lessons learned?

Listen to your market. They will tell you the opportunities you can pursue.

The entrepreneurial spirit

I never saw myself as a person who could sell.

Until I sold biscuits, coffee, and sweets at my office.

I was the shy type. I had difficulty in asking people to "buy my stuff". But one day, I told my officemates I was selling food.

I knew I had competition, yet I persisted.

My capital has quadrupled in 2 years now. The growth is sluggish because I'm selling small stuff. I understand. To catch bigger fish, one must use a bigger bait.

If I could go back in time, I wish someome had nurtured the entrepreneurial spirit in me. My father was a businessman, but he died before I could learn from his trade. My mother is a government employee who admits she has no knack for running a business.

I too, am a government employee, yet the burning desire to have my own business grows each day.

The only sensible thing I can do is to nurture it.

When failure happens

Do these 10 things:

1. Feel the feeling of failure;

2. Don't dwell on it;

3. Shake off the dirt;

4. Stand up;

5. Move on with your life;

6. View it as an experiment;

7. View it as a learning experience;

8. Treat is as an instructor;

9. Resolve to learn from every experience with failure;

10. Rename failure

There's always a reason

Events happen for a reason.

There's a reason why I attended today's Regional Consultation Meeting on Crime Prevention Program.

I met people who are passionate about their work. I met people who are passionate about our country. I met people who are passionate about our society.

But most importantly, I gained wisdom, understanding, and a new book to download.

The output of the activity will be eventually be submitted to our president (after much consolidation).... that was what was mentioned during the welcome message

This motivates and inspires me to improve my work. To render excellent service as a public servant. 

But first, let me reread the book I discovered during this workshop....

When dreams knock

When I read a comic, I can feel this throbbing inside my chest.

It's my dreams knocking once more.

It's my dreams telling me to "make that comic regardless of professional quality".

Have you felt the same knock in your heart as well?

Confidence and Leadership

I vented my frustrations on my sister.

Paphu was difficult to house train.

"You know, Paphu is learning a lot from you, and you are learning a lot from Paphu. Confidence and leadership. Aren't those what you wanted?" Were my sister's words.

Yes. Those were.

Patience. To be the alpha means to be the leader of the pack. To  respected means I must respect them first.

"Paphu is a dog. An animal, not human. They communicate differently from us. You gotta learn to step down to their level to understand them".

I gotta extend my own patience. This is a parcel of responsible pet ownership.

Why I write random stuff

I have absolutely no idea, only that.. it feels right and easy.

Looking back though my old posts, it was so different. I went from art, to game development, to preachy-inspirational, to professional-looking blogs, to lists, to dogs... 

My entries don't make sense at all. 

I want to build a community. That's a nice dream, right? I think that's every blogger's dream. 

I have followed tons of bloggers who also preach what I'm aiming for. James Clear. Jeff Goins. Alexander Hayne, Nicolas Cole....

Majority of them preach of looking for your audience, posting lengthy entries, finding your niche, do this and not that....the list goes on and on. I reached this point of analysis by paralysis. 

There was just too much bloggers with too much advice. 

.......then Seth Godin entered the picture like The Flash.

His advice was profoundly simple: Show up Sit Down and *insert activity*, or SUSDA

Blog daily? I can't even sketch daily!

I tried his concept in April, but it panned. Then I stopped posting in May... until I re-discovered CJ Chilvers in June 2016. 

CJ Chilvers known for The Lesser Photographer. I read his work when it was still a free PDF document that you could download over tumblr. I believe he took it down and is currently selling the book. 

Apparently, CJ also dances the same groove Seth Godin does. Go to Chilver's blog and you'll see what I mean. He writes daily. His posts are short. 

Hey, I could try that. 

So I wrote daily. I wrote two entries a day: post the first one, automate the second one to post on the next day. 

The next day, I did it again. The next next day, I did it again. 

Rinse. Repeat. 

Combine SUSDA with the idea that you don't have to please every body. That nobody's even reading it. Just post. Show up. 

So I write stuff that interests me. I keep a jot down notebook for potential entries. Some sound good, some don't. But hey, it's still an idea. 

I continue to write random stuff. I know that I'll eventually discover my niche, my voice and my market.

But first, let me write daily. 

Blog post buffers

I like buffers.

They remove a tiny percentage of worry whether I'm up to date with my posts.
I had a problem with maintaining buffers when I was still in the webcomic scene.

I could not delay my gratification. Instead of posting 2 pages per week, I would post the entire pages I drew. I burned out. I lost interest in the projects. Couple that with a high expectations to have a lot of fans. Life doesn't work that way, well sometimes, it can be a lottery. Sometimes it's not.

The slight edge philosophy taught me that.It's the small things you consistently do on a daily basis that pushes a person to greatness.... or downfall.

Anyway, back to buffers.

Creating a blog post buffer helps me keep my mind on focus. I'm not worried whether I posted, or not.

Automation also helps. I check my blog every other day because of this. Every day, I write 2 day's worth of entries and automate them.

Ramit Sethi (of I will teach you to be rich fame) once praised the wonders of automation.

He was soooo right.
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