Story Theme

Every story must have a thing. Every protagonist must embody that theme. 

- Steven Pressfield

For years, I've toyed with a Wild Arms 2 Fanfiction. 

No not with the main protagonists. 

They're not interesting. 

But the Villains are. Even if their dialogues were poorly translated.

That was the reason why I became attached to the characters. 

Because they were interesting. 

Antenora, for instance. 

RPGenius wrote something about her, and I couldn't agree more. 

The character is the type you'd typically find in Shakespeare Plays.

It was a character that appealed to me. 

For years, I toyed with the idea of creating her backstory. 

I don't own the character, but I needed to scratch my itch. 

It took me 12 years to finally put a finale to her backstory. 

I was contented with how I wrote it, despite with its flaring flaws. 

I took a step back. 

What is her story all about? What is it trying to point out? What is the theme?

How the pursuit of revenge changes you as a person. 

What you are willing to sacrifice for that pursuit.

 How willing are you to do the dirty stuff, just to see the realization of a worthy ideal?

It's not just Antenora's story. 

It's also the story of her comrades in Odessa (A terrorist Organization) and their financial backer. 

I dunno why I'm so invested into these types of stories. 

It's probably because I've also worn the same shoes. 

Wild Arms 2: Heroes and Villains

I bought a playstation game in 2001, but managed to get deeply involved with it in 2004.

That game was Wild Arms 2. 

Despite the bad reviews that game got, despite the fact that it was badly localized... I loved it.

I loved it despite the flaws that were blatantly obvious. Poor translation. That it paled to the original Wild Arms. blah blah blah

You could call it. "Loving someone who's unlovable."

There was something about Wild Arms 2 that struck me until today.

I cannot get over the story and the characters.

Truth is, I cannot get over the villains of that story.

Those villains were "Terrorists", by the way.

So why am I obsessed with the baddies?

Is there something wrong with my morality?

Maybe not.

But there's something about Wild Arms 2 that I'd like to share.

It was the first game that made me question the concept of "Heroes" and "Villains".

The protagonist was someone who didn't want to be a hero. The protagonist's girlfriend did want him to be a hero.

Because heroes exist when there's war. Because heroes exist when there's chaos. Because heroes die. 

Then there's "Odessa", the terrorist group terrorizing the world I'm protecting.

...only that they are terrorists because they were "hired" to be one.

They were hired to become terrorists so that the world would unite. They were hired in preparation of a dimensional being that threatened to devour their world.

They were paid to become the "bad guys"for the greater good.

They were the sacrificial lambs.

And the tragedy is that the developers, Media.Vision and Contrail, did not expound their stories!

What pushed Vinsfeld Rhadamanthus to accept Irving's proposition? (SPOILERS: Irving is the protagonist's boss. Irving is also the financial source of the terrorist group. Irving played us all!)

What pushed the Cocytus (Caina, Judecca, Ptolomea and Antenora) to believe in Vinsfeld and Irving?

Why were they willing to be put in such a bad light, just to save the world?

I'm dying to learn the answers, unfortunately, I will never get them.

 It's such a strong urge that sixteen years later, it's an itch I cannot scratch.

Perhaps it's because of my interest in Psychology and curiosity to understand the reasons why a person makes the choices they do.

This also made me think about the villains, or the baddies in my own life.

I don't think they exist to make my life a living hell.

I think they exist to make me realize the diversity of life. The diversity of people. The diversity of beliefs and opinions.

Diversity.

Oh, look at what I wrote just because of a badly translated videogame!

My Lifetime as a gamer girl

In yesterday's post, I wrote about Lifetimes.Let me write something about being a gamer girl.

I'm still in my early twenties (okay, I think I'm in my mid-twenties now!), so let's go back in time... to the late 90s.

My first exposure to videogames was a Family Computer (FamiCom) my mom bought. I was around 4-5 years old.

source: wikipedia

I used to play hours of Super Mario and Adventure Island. After a couple of games, I noticed I had difficulty in sleeping. That ended my love affair with FamiCom.

Then when I was around 6-7 years old, I started a love affair with Sony's Playstation (PSX or PSone). My mom left me in this facility (I don't know what you call them, but there are other kids, lots of toys. that was heaven for a kid, believe me!) and that's where I met the Playstation.

After a year, my mom took me to Toy Kingdom in SM Megamall and bought me a Playstation! and I had free 20 games too!

My GOD!

I chose casual games, and they were pretty fun.

Until I bought my 21st and 22nd game (Megaman X8 and  Wild Arms 2).

Wild Arms 2 changed my life.

Source: http://sheattack.com/retro-review-wild-arms-2/

It opened to me the Japanese Role Playing Game (JRPG) genre that dazzled me for a decade!

That was year 2000 or 2001.

Since then, I've bought dozens of JRPGs and spent majority of my childhood, adolescent and teenage years playing JRPGs. I cannot count the number of hours I poured on playing games.

Then in 2004, I wanted to have a Playstation 2.... BADLY.

Final Fantasy X was very popular during this year. I was begging for my mom to buy me one.

My mom declined my request for 2 reasons:

1. Too expensive. It cost Php 17,000.00

2. She was not going to feed my addiction. I was already spending hours on my playstation. I was ignoring my mom. No way was she going to give me another reason to glue my eyes to the television.

I played JRPGs until I was 18. Then my playstation broke, and my only means to play was an esPSXE emulator.

Of course, I focused on my studies, Licensure Exam Review and Work.... I naturally grew out of my drive to purchase and play games (though I did win an Undertale Game from RPGenius! :D)

But I do still feel giddy when I hear people talk about the games I grew up.

The nostalgia is very very strong, even until now.

Would I continue to play games right now? I doubt it. I'm no longer the same person I was 8 years ago. I no longer have the patience to devote hours to play JRPGs, when I can devote the same number of hours to make personal improvements in my life. (the only games I replay are Azure Dreams, Legend of Mana, FF8 and Persona 2. I'm still looking for my Arc the Lad discs though!)

As a matter of fact, I wrote an answer in Quora, whether playing videogames are a waste of time.

Playing Videogames had an impact on my life. Being a gamer girl was my identity during those years. But being a gamer girl also is the opportunity cost of not going out there to socialize.

If I could go back in time, I wish I could have struck for a healthier school-socialize-games balanced lifestyle. But you can't turn back time.

So there you have it!

One of my life time as a gamer girl.

The Fanfiction Games

"Let the Writing Fanfiction Games Begin!"

A week ago, the idea of creating a Final Fantasy 8 Fiction dawned on me.

I knew the ending & what did I have to lose?

I published my very first fan fiction in 4 years.

As I was writing the 3 chapters of that fic, I had another flash of fanfic ideas.

Here are the following fics I plan to do. They aren't set in stone yet, but it's nice to have a list of fics for future projects, isn't it?



1. Final Fantasy 8- Your Eyes on Me
            - Julia, Laguna and Caraway's story. *on progress

2. Final Fantasy 8 -My Eyes on You
             - Raine, Laguna and Julia's story

3. Avatar: The Last Airbender
             - Ursa and Ozai's relationship

4. Lunar Silver Star Story Complete
             - Ghaleon and The Vile Tribe sisters' story.

5. Arc the Lad II
             - How The Great Disaster created an organization to unleashed the monster that caused it all.
                How The Academy was created.
             
6. Suikoden 1& 2
             - Odessa wakes up in Radat, the principality of South Window. What happens when a wandering Flik and party discovers her?

7. Wild Arms 2 
             - Judecca, Antenora, Caina, Ptolomea and Vinsfeld Rhadamanthus' stories, how Odessa was formed and how they survived when ARMS kicked their asses.
             
8. Legend of Legaia
             - Cara's story.

9. Xenogears
            -Miang and Ramsus' story. How they met and the dynamics of their relationship until her death.

10. Legend of Mana- Star Crossed
           - Irvin, Matilda, Escad and Daena's story prior to the events of Legend of Mana.

They are mostly PSX JRPGs fan fictions, considering that this was the only console game I had as a kid.

The Ultimate Guilty Pleasure: Writing Fan Fictions

"After all this time?"

"Always"

- Albus Dumbledore to Severus Snape, Harry Potter Series

Another story idea flash in my head.

I knew this was one of those rare story ideas where I knew how it would start, what would 

happen in between and how it would end.

The twist?

It is a Final Fantasy VIII fan fiction.

Yes, I am investing my imagination and creative writing skills in another company owned 

franchise.

When I was younger, and highly active in the creative scene, a friend once told me to ditch 

fancomics, and write my original stories.

If I really wanted to, I could.

But writing fan fictions... is an itch that begs to be scratched!

As what Snape replied to Dumbledore, "Always".

It's an itch that will never go away, until I scratch it!

How do I scratch it? I write it in black and white. I post and share it online.

It's the only way. It's the only way to put the itch at ease.

Recently, I have started to write fan fiction again. (Never mind if it's owned by Square Enix. 

The idea want to be born!)

1. Final Fantasy VIII - Your Eyes on Me

What the Galbadian General wants, the General gets...even if it means eliminating his beloved's true love. 

The untold love story between Julia, Laguna and yours truly, Fury Caraway.

Yes, it is cheesy. My second english teacher asked  me  and a classmate to revise the

cheesy intro to a play we wrote. Well, I like it cheesy! 

I've already written chapters 1 & 2. This one is estimated to be 6-7 chapters long.

Runner Up:

2. Wild Arms 2- Cocytus

Before they were terrorists, they were humans with issues. 

An anthology of the Odessa's Generals before joining Vinsfeld Rhadamanthus,

the aftermath of the advent of the Kuiper Belt core and Lord Blazer.

In 2010-2012, I created a webcomic and fanfiction entitled  "A Bittersweet Affair" 

chronicling Antenora's story. 

I never finished either version, but the story is still itching to be written. 

This itch expounded to create backstories for the other generals.

I'll work on this after I finish "Your Eyes on Me", or possibly,  a new FF8 fiction 

"My Eyes on You" focusing on Raine, Laguna and Julia's story.

So why focus on fan fiction?

It's simple. 

I've decided a few months ago that when I die, I would like to reflect and say 

"Yes, I wrote these stories. And I'm proud to have written them."

So I will write. I will write. I will persist to write.

Until I have scratch the itch called "Creating Fan fiction."