Last October 2013, I encountered a situation that left me embittered. Fortunately, I downloaded several ebooks and discovered "The Misleading Mind: How we Create Our Own Problems and How Buddhist Psychology Can Help Us Solve Them".
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Image taken from: http://www.digitalaptitude.com/blog/10-books-that-changed-my-life
YES. This books is life-changing. If you allow yourself to be changed, that is. |
Below is a list of points that struck a chord in me. I initially shared them with a friend, and I thought non-readers of the book would benefit it. I structured my learnings into something memorable, like having a conversation myself with the book answering my concern.
Happy reading!
Before, I was a problematic, unhappy, grudge-holding, moody little girl.
But one day, i was sick of it. Then i read a book...
· "Our
'problem', what makes desires destructive, is that we cling to or become
attached to what we desire."
· "In essence,
we cause our own problems by seeking, desiring, or relying on transient,
external things to make us happy"
· "Our problems
are caused by our misperception of the nature of reality and the nature of our
mind"
· "Yet the truth
is, most pleasures only create the desire for more."
· "All worldly
pursuits have but one unavoidable and inevitable end, which is sorrow."
Then i realized, oh great, so what do i do?
· "We need to
develop a deep awareness of the way our problems arise, their root causes and
then we need to train ourselves in how to cope with them every time they come
up."
· "If we
exercise our freedom to choose how we relate with our emotions and how much we
draw our identity from them, we slowly and surely become happier and healthier
people."
· "We experience
increasing contentment not by doing all we can to avoid suffering, but by
meeting suffering head on when it occurs and transforming it."
· "For it is the
correct perception of things as they are, of reality, that will free us from
constantly being whipsawed by whatever emotion may arise within our mind."
· "We are
accountable for our mental health and emotions, even if we are not to 'blame'
or accountable for our circumstances growing up."
· "We start by
accepting the counterintertuitive notion that we must use our problems to solve
our problems. Problems provide the resistance that helps us exercise our minds."
· "In mind
training, the intentions and motivations of others, although relevant, are not
the primary focus. we are are concerned with our point of view and its
accompanying response."
· "Learn to put
the blame where it belongs: on our misperception of things and of our self and
on the habitual compulsive reactions those misperceptions lead us to take"
· The first goal is
to understand and see the disturbing emotions as something external to your
identity or sense of self."
· "The
mind-training practitioner thinks, 'my old habits want to trap me and send me
down a road that I will later regret. Instead, I'll use this situation as an
opportunity to further develop my mind."
· "Because we
know that the only way we can achieve the balanced state of mind of an awakened
person is by confronting head on the habitual patterns that have imprisoned us
for our entire life."
· "There are 3
general categories of interventions that deal with the upsetting emotions:
blocking negative impulses, observing and releasing the emotions, and
transforming negative thoughts into their positive opposites.
and then i realized that....
· "Reality is
what we label it.
· "And like
that, nothing exists until we perceive, label, and interpret it."
· "We do not
live in bare experience. We live in a world of interpretation, assumption, and
projection. we wear tinted glasses."
· "Self-pity is
a totally nonproductive state of mind and thoroughly self-indulgent; nobody
likes hanging around a self-pitying person, including ourselves. The more we
indulge in self-pity, the more unhappy we become."
· "We do have
problems, but this does not mean we are problems. We believe our problem and
our self are the same. This is looking at problems in the wrong way, in a
damaging way."
· "The essence
of thought transformations is that problems are actually helpful to us."
· "All of the
troubles we confront throughout our life are viewed as teachings"
· "If we drop
our attachments to what we desire, we will not be overwhelmed by disturbing
emotions and can see the benefit in any apparent upset or problems."
Oh, there's hope for me!
· "Another
quality of the mind is that is is utterly fluid."
· "What you do
in life physically changes what your brain looks like. You can wire and rewire
yourself with the simple choice of which musical instrument---or professional
sport, you play."
