Thoughts to Ponder

Give yourself the freedom to create with worries. There's a reason why the "Edit" button was created.

Wednesday, February 10, 2016

A Chameleon with No Ambition


"You have no ambition."


I was not surprised. No ouch or anything. I just laughed.

Deep down, I knew it.

She was like a polished mirror who revealed what I had rejected all along.

"You have no ambition, whereas he has the ambition to be a General. But you're the kind who's okay with anything. You're not the choosy. If you were to select a wardrobe, you'd pick anything, whereas he would carefully choose his."

"You're the type of person who can play the role of a poor and rich girl. You know how to adjust. *Kung pobre, kaya mong makibagay. hindi ka namimili. Pero kung mayaman, kaya mo talagang makili-level at kumilos ng mayaman."


*translation: you can mingle with those less fortunate than you. you can also mingle with those way above you on the income level

(the context of the conversation involved a guy I dated in late 2015)


***

Great, so I'm a chameleon with no ambition. 

Am I supposed to be proud of that, or what?

That explains why, ever since as I was young as 6, I didn't know what I exactly wanted to be.

My classmates wanted to be policemen, doctors, successful people.... and I just picked whatever were parents were.

Before, I wanted to be a comic book artist and a videogame developer. Suddenly I wanted to be a writer. 

My ambitions, or a lack of ambition thereof, is like a double-edged sword.

On one end, it gives me the flexibility to adapt. On the other end, I look like a Jack-Of-All-Trades-yet-master-of-none.

I envy people who know what they want, and pursue what they want. I really envy the ones who have the guts to realize their dreams. 

They aren't just dreaming dreams , they are MATERIALIZING their dreams!

Dreams? 

Even my dreams aren't ambitious. 

Just low-key ones.

I dream of the day I will stop working, the day where my little green employees savings will work and multiply themselves for me, the day I can wake up and do whatever I want, the day I don't have to worry about living paycheck to paycheck.

But that's b*llsh*t. We live to work.


Well, at least it's an ambition, nevertheless, yes?


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