Lessons from Karuna Cayton's Misleading Mind

Last October 2013, I encountered a situation that left me embittered. Fortunately, I downloaded several ebooks and discovered "The Misleading Mind: How we Create Our Own Problems and How Buddhist Psychology Can Help Us Solve Them".

Image taken from: http://www.digitalaptitude.com/blog/10-books-that-changed-my-life
YES. This books is life-changing. If you allow yourself to be changed, that is.

Below is a list of points that struck a chord in me. I initially shared them with a friend, and I thought non-readers of the book would benefit it. I structured my learnings into something memorable, like having a conversation myself with the book answering my concern.

Happy reading!

Before, I was a problematic, unhappy, grudge-holding, moody little girl. But one day, i was sick of it. Then i read a book...

·  "Our 'problem', what makes desires destructive, is that we cling to or become attached to what we desire."

·  "In essence, we cause our own problems by seeking, desiring, or relying on transient, external things to make us happy"

·  "Our problems are caused by our misperception of the nature of reality and the nature of our mind"

·  "Yet the truth is, most pleasures only create the desire for more."

·  "All worldly pursuits have but one unavoidable and inevitable end, which is sorrow."

Then i realized, oh great, so what do i do?

·  "We need to develop a deep awareness of the way our problems arise, their root causes and then we need to train ourselves in how to cope with them every time they come up."

·  "If we exercise our freedom to choose how we relate with our emotions and how much we draw our identity from them, we slowly and surely become happier and healthier people."

·  "We experience increasing contentment not by doing all we can to avoid suffering, but by meeting suffering head on when it occurs and transforming it."

·  "For it is the correct perception of things as they are, of reality, that will free us from constantly being whipsawed by whatever emotion may arise within our mind."

·  "We are accountable for our mental health and emotions, even if we are not to 'blame' or accountable for our circumstances growing up."

·  "We start by accepting the counterintertuitive notion that we must use our problems to solve our problems. Problems provide the resistance that helps us exercise our minds."

·  "In mind training, the intentions and motivations of others, although relevant, are not the primary focus. we are are concerned with our point of view and its accompanying response."

·  "Learn to put the blame where it belongs: on our misperception of things and of our self and on the habitual compulsive reactions those misperceptions lead us to take"

·  The first goal is to understand and see the disturbing emotions as something external to your identity or sense of self."

·  "The mind-training practitioner thinks, 'my old habits want to trap me and send me down a road that I will later regret. Instead, I'll use this situation as an opportunity to further develop my mind."

·  "Because we know that the only way we can achieve the balanced state of mind of an awakened person is by confronting head on the habitual patterns that have imprisoned us for our entire life."

·  "There are 3 general categories of interventions that deal with the upsetting emotions: blocking negative impulses, observing and releasing the emotions, and transforming negative thoughts into their positive opposites.

and then i realized that....

·  "Reality is what we label it.

·  "And like that, nothing exists until we perceive, label, and interpret it."

·  "We do not live in bare experience. We live in a world of interpretation, assumption, and projection. we wear tinted glasses."

·  "Self-pity is a totally nonproductive state of mind and thoroughly self-indulgent; nobody likes hanging around a self-pitying person, including ourselves. The more we indulge in self-pity, the more unhappy we become."

·  "We do have problems, but this does not mean we are problems. We believe our problem and our self are the same. This is looking at problems in the wrong way, in a damaging way."

·  "The essence of thought transformations is that problems are actually helpful to us."

·  "All of the troubles we confront throughout our life are viewed as teachings"

·  "If we drop our attachments to what we desire, we will not be overwhelmed by disturbing emotions and can see the benefit in any apparent upset or problems."

Oh, there's hope for me!

·  "Another quality of the mind is that is is utterly fluid."

·  "What you do in life physically changes what your brain looks like. You can wire and rewire yourself with the simple choice of which musical instrument---or professional sport, you play."

My Love Letters to God: Journal Writing

My love letters to God from 2009-June 2014. 

Journal Writing, or the act of recording one's thoughts in tangible form , is one of my assortment of therapy.
It also happens to be my simple way of conversing with God.


HOW IT BEGAN

My earliest record of starting a diary was in 2000. My penmanship was horrible and my entries had no sense. I wrote intermittently, mostly to document my achievements in Legend of Mana. But I didn't pick up the habit of writing until late 2009.

I had troubles with creativity, and that problem led to me to try Julia Cameron's Morning Pages.
Morning Pages are 3 pages of stream of consciousness longhand writing. Morning Pages claimed to recapture your creativity and provide the solutions for your problems. Since I also had problems about my love life, I immediately found a notebook and jumped right in.

Honestly speaking, writing morning pages in the morning wasn't easy. So I changed my schedule to write in the evenings, and it became a breeze.

Every evening, I would sit down and dump my thoughts. Some were useful, some had no sense, but I persevered.

My initial morning pages had no addressee, and it felt awkward to immediately pour my thoughts into the poor defenseless notebook. So I decided to add "Dear Diary".

True enough, that "Dear Diary" morphed into "Dear God" and "Dear Jesus".

And a series of love letters was born.

WHY I WRITE

Initially, I wrote for the purpose of improving my creativity. My head is rich with ideas, stories, concepts that it's a must for me to write them


Next, I wrote for self-expression. I have difficulty in expressing my thoughts to people, so I turned to journal writing. At least the notebook wouldn't judge me. It would only listen. My notebooks are privy to my frustrations, my happiness, my heartaches etc. I also prefer writing my concerns rather than sharing it with other people, though there are times that I will seek counsel from selected people.

I also wanted to grow in faith as a catholic. I wanted to share my thoughts with God. To have a personal relationship, as my born-again friend mentioned to me. So I addressed my entries as "Dear God and Jesus", hoping that they will share my burdens and help me in finding solutions. And yes, I can say that in writing, I discovered the answers I was seeking.

Problem?
Write it. Write all the details. Write to God for a solution . Write the solution.

Something good happened today?
Write it. Write it all. Express gratefulness.

New projects in mind?
Write it. Write all the details. Write how to bring it to life.

WHY I ENCOURAGE OTHERS TO WRITE

It's life changing.

Seriously, if you have never tried it before, or you tried but you didn't sustain the habit, I highly encourage you to give it a try.

You won't lose anything, except for a few pages and the ink from your pen. I might even say you will gain a lot.

Self-discovery. Hope. Happiness. Gratitude. Love. Acceptance. 

Look for a notebook and grab a pen. Sit down and let your hand move across the pages.
Something marvelous awaits to be discovered.

How Steve Kamb's Epic Quest changed my perspective on Bucket Lists

What I used to think about Bucket Lists: 

 They are for the Terminally Ill.

No, I'm not kidding.

Remember Jamie from a walk to remember?

Yes, the character Mandy Moore played back in the early 2000? 

She was Shane West's love interest for the Film Adaptation of Nicholas Sparks' "A Walk to Remember"

image credit to whttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Walk_to_Remember
I can't believe this movie is 12 years old already!

Before Jamie bid her eternal goodbye, her love interest Landon, patiently and lovingly made her "Wishlist" come true. As a young child, it held a lasting impression upon me.Therefore, I couldn't blame my young mind for thinking "Bucket Lists are for the Terminally Ill".

Then Enter this Dude.

Photocredit to Steve Kamb's Twitter Account.
Isn't he cute?  

This Dude, Steve Kamb, radically changed my concept about Bucket Lists.

He christened his Bucket List as  "Steve Kamb's Epic Quest of Awesome".

Judging from the name, you'll have an idea about what differentiates it from the typical 

<Insert name's >bucket list.

Image Credit to NerdFitness.com
This strongly reminds me of Indiana Jones for some reason.

You see, his Bucket List Epic Quest of Awesome has Levels AND Experience Points!

 For every accomplishment achieved, Steve gains 20% Experience Points. 

When he accomplishes 5 things from the list, he levels up!

HIS BUCKET LIST IS JUST LIKE A FREAKING RPG!

HE'S LIKE A BREATHING AND LIVING RPG CHARACTER!

Image taken from http://www.haywiremag.com/?p=890
Final Fantasy 8. One of the JRPGs which rendered me a Final Fantasy Fangirl

A little bit of history.

I loved Japanese Role Playing Games.

I loved them with my whole heart that I dreamed of becoming a game developer and make video games as a profession. However, reality made me choose a practical profession and that's another story.

I devoted my entire childhood in playing JRPGs:

•  Final Fantasies
•  Lunar Series
•  Wild Arms Series
•  Grandia Series
•  Brave Fencer Musashi
• Harvest Moon
•  Suikoden Series
•  Legend of Mana
•  Legend of Legaia
•  Alundra
•  and other JRPGs found in the Playstation and Gameboy Color-Advance Era

Steve did me a great favor by making me realize that I can apply gaming elements in Bucket Lists/Goals to make it enjoyable. It has opened a whole new world for me. Who would have thought that applying RPG elements to your life would be feasible? Who would have thought that it'd work?

In September 2013, I set out and created my own version of "Epic Quest".  When  recently checked the document, I see that I've already done some in my list. (but there are some which I haven't done yet, i also haven't updated it and i haven't determined what my level is)

So Do yourself a favor and be inspired to start your own Epic Quest of Awesome. v

Have fun in making your own Epic Quests!